Hi my name is carmela, I am 38 years old and been married for twenty years to the same man. We have four childen together. Recently I have been having these strong attraction feeling with a male friend of ours that I known for 10 years. When I first met the my friend we click instant we are both the same sign. we have a lot of things and common.
but lately every time I step in the same room with him I get these weird feeling when I around him. The chemistry is so strong between him and I other people can see it to. I think about him twenty four seven. When I see him talking to other female I get upset. And I know he feels the same way about me. We talk on the phone for hours and some times twice a week.
That not even the bad part.
The bad part is that he is the pastor of our church
nothing sexually have happen between us but my feeling and emotions are out of wack.
Advice please.

lrieken

The question needs to be answered: Do you still love your husband? It is less about "who" than it is about "why". Once you answer that then you can take action in the right direction.

If you do.....I agree 100% with the above statement about finding a way to make the marriage renewed and exciting. Long time marriages get comfortable but stuffy. Revive the passion, that can eliminate the feelings you are having about this other person. The first step then would be to get rid of the "distraction", so you can concentrate on finding your sweetheart again.

If you don't....then you need to be open and honest with your husband and decide what you are going to do about that.

Now to address the issue of the pastor....he is 100% wrong to encourage or engage in any kind of intimate (emotional or otherwise) relationship with a married woman. Is he married as well?? I would not feel comfortable having a pastoral leader who does not even follow the doctrine himself. Find another church!

Fr_Chuck

Yes I did not address the Pastor issue, he needs to be fired , a man like this has no business being a pastor, he is a disgrase to any of us who minister God's word.

kraz

You owe your husband and your family more than what you are giving them at this moment. As Irieken has written you need to choose between a man who should not be encouraging this sort of behavior in a married woman or the man you made a promise to love and cherish, have spent 20 years together and raised children together.

The pastor is using his position of power and charisma over your current feelings of uncertainty. I don't believe this is a good sign for a pastor or a good decent honest man.

If your marriage is in a rut, then get it out and work at bringing back the love and romance, that spark that brought you and your husband together, before you ruin it and your husband has had enough of your loose behavior.

N0help4u

I agree with Jesushelper you are having an emotional affair in your mind which most likely is that you are idealistically romanticizing what it would be like being with him yet in real life you would most likely realize that it was nothing like what you thought it would be. You are better off sticking with your own territory where you know what you got.

carmel candy

Hi my name is Carmela, The last time I wrote to you all telling you about this friend guy of mines who I am in love with has recently given me a car. I known this guy for ten years and I loved him for ten years. I have never felt so connected to someone else before . We have never had any types of sexual affair just good friendship. This man is so wonderful I wish my husband could be him. I am so physical attracted to this man I hate to be in the same room with him. I know every body can tell that he feels the same way about me. I know they can tell that we are in love with each other. I have never had another man to treat me the way he does he is kind gentle and he listen, Not only that but he helps me with my children. I was recently in a car accident and total my vehicle. He came to see about me and gave me his fairlly new car and he bought him a new one. The same make and modle. At first I didnt want to except it bbut my husband told me to take it. Now when I go to church every Sunday I drive his old car. I know people are talking about us but I dont care because I know that we have not crossed the line. I know that people can see that we are very close together but I cant control love it happens to the best of us. After my car accident my husband didnt seem concern about me he was concerned about the car. I cant even talk to my spouse with out the drama. But I feel like I need to make a big descion about our marriage and move on to something better.
I am trying so hard to keep my feeling and my body under control. This is been such a hard test to conquer and it seems like my husband is pushing me futher and further away from him . He never compliment me but other men will he never want to listen to what I say .But get mad when some body else does. Maybe my marriage been over with and I been make it work for the children or Maybe he is to blind to appreciate what he has.
Not only that he has let his self go over the last couple of years . I am a very attractive woman who does not look 38 at all. People are always complimenting me on how I look My husband is 10 years older than I am and he doesnt care how he look. I have been faithful to him for 20 years. But I know that I am in love with another man and it not fair to me or him. Please give me some tips on what I should do. Love sick

talaniman

You divorce your husband before you commit adultry, and then you enjoy yourself, and don't look back. Thats the fair way to go about it, don't you agree?