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Home > Family & People > Marriage   »   too young to get married?

 
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Old Sep 13, 2006, 09:31 PM
soon2be
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too young to get married?

HI. I'm 19 and i go to college in fl. ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years. this past year we have been long distance because he is in the marine corps and stationed in NC. We want to get married and everyone thinks we are crazy. How do i know if im doing the right thing?

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Old Sep 13, 2006, 10:00 PM   #2  
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I'm not sure there is a right or wrong thing to do in this situation. I think your loved ones would be thinking about what is in your best interest, atleast what they believe that to be. They are probably worried about your future.

All I can say is that you have to think about the future. Is this what you want for your life? You are young. Have you really thought about it? It isn't right or wrong but it would probably be a tough row to hoe. Are you prepared to live in a long-distance relationship for a long period of time? Just a thought.

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Krs agrees: great post aqua
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Old Sep 13, 2006, 11:00 PM   #3  
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my gut instinct says wait. be together. if its right itll stay strong.

the reason i say this is if id married the girl id dated for 7 years by the time i was 23... wed likely be divorced by now. it really takes most people some time to understand themselves.... even if you are grounded. you change as you grow, and a lot is still happening when you are in you young 20s.

the flip side is one of my best friends married his HS sweetheart. they waited till he was out of college. married 10 years now, three kids, and they will absolutely make it.

so.... just dont feel rushed. in the end, nobody here can tell you what is best. you guys might be perfect for each other.

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mysticque : you seem like you are not a very optimistic person
J_9 agrees: Beautifully said, as usual!!!
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Old Sep 14, 2006, 12:53 AM   #4  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soon2be
HI. I'm 19 and i go to college in fl. ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years. this past year we have been long distance because he is in the marine corps and stationed in NC. We want to get married and everyone thinks we are crazy. How do i know if im doing the right thing?

Why do u want to get married now?

Have you 2 lived together before making such a huge decission on your future?

Marriage is huge commitment, marriage isnt only about love, there are so many things to consider.
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Old Sep 14, 2006, 08:16 AM   #5  
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All throughout our junior and senior years of high school we practically lived in eachothers houses together. we have a hard time being happy without each other and know we want to be together forever. he's going to be sent to Iraq this year so when he gets back we want to be able to ive together while he;s in the marines and im in a school nearby. we understand how much work it will be we jsut havent decieded when the right time to tie the knot is.
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Old Sep 15, 2006, 01:23 AM   #6  
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How about rent an apartment together for while?
Get engaged and Live together first.
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Old Sep 15, 2006, 05:22 AM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soon2be
All throughout our junior and senior years of high school we practically lived in eachothers houses together. we have a hard time being happy without each other and know we want to be together forever. he's going to be sent to Iraq this year so when he gets back we want to be able to ive together while he;s in the marines and im in a school nearby. we understand how much work it will be we jsut havent decieded when the right time to tie the knot is.
I don’t really see an age difference or preference when you are and not able to marry someone special. Although it is ideal to get married at later age but getting married anytime is not wrong either. One reason is it would be very much easier for you to evaluate yourself and your potential spouse once you are at that age or maturity. But you are the captain of your ship and no one else. If you truly love this person and believe with your knowledge that there’s a potential of you and him then I don’t see why you would not marry him either. I would think you have already thought all about the possibilities once you are married with this guy and what other factors that can potentially harm the marriage. I agree with some of the postings but I don’t see why you should let someone stop from what you believe is your greatest potential. Many people that holding off till at later age would help going through this process and many people also believe by taking chances on the most important matter of their life can be succesful. This is a life changing experience and must be thoroughly examined. It’s all about a matter of choice. No one makes perfect decision. If you can see your great grandparents married at 15 and made it through together till death. Go do it. I actually believe that the earlier you marry someone the more chances you have staying with that person till death. So what is it that really worried you about?
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Old Sep 15, 2006, 07:32 AM   #8  
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My opinion is wait You are only 19 & you are in your first year of college (i am assuming). Why not finish college and see where things stand at that point. If you love him as much as you say you do, the love will still be there when you are graduated. This way you will have a degree to fall back on when you are traveling with him and maybe needing a job. I know from experience, finishing a degree right out of highschool is easier that trying to transfer credits and such.

Maybe this insight will give you a different way of thinking about your circumstance.

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phillysteakandcheese agrees: I also think waiting would be the "best" thing.
kp2171 agrees: good post
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Old Sep 15, 2006, 06:22 PM   #9  
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Well, you're very young and still pursuing your education. Personally I'd wait until acquiring some marketable skills that have real income-producing potential. If you leave school now to get married you'll be spending the rest of your life waiting on tables and saying "Do you want fries with that?" That's very hard and very low-paying work. Spend your youth getting your education and building yourself up before getting tied into the responsibilities of marriage and family.

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Old Sep 15, 2006, 06:31 PM   #10  
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Not to offend your argument s_cianci but if you are talking about financial stability and real-income i think you completely got your wrong foot here. Who knows she can do entertainment profession, modeling or acting. Those really pays more than any white-collar here. When I met my 3rd bf at 22 he was already making 90k. So please before you make a really good argument. I would try considering other things before making it a factual note.

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kp2171 disagrees: laughable. how many more posts are you going to enter into and criticize those who frequent this site? what a joke. hope you find your lifes ambition (guy w $) before your model looks go south.
beautifuldiva agrees: I agree... to assume thats where her life course would head having got married... :( I know plenty of women who are married and are just now going to school after establishing a family life and becoming a mother who's husbands are in complete support
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