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Miricale 123 · Apr 24, 2008, 05:21 AM

My wife's friend is always looking at me and asking if we could all hang out all the time. It makes me uncomfortable. We always get into arguments when ever I hang out with her. She always compliments my looks and ask questions about my where abouts. It make me uncomfortable.

boredINmind · Apr 24, 2008, 06:02 AM

I don't know about this one. Why are you asking, do you want her to? And if she does, do you really want to know, how awkward would that make your situation if you DON'T want her to! I think unless she approaches you in some way then you should leave this alone, unless you want a problem with your wife!

Maybe she has a little crush on you, that means there's something good about you! Take it as a compliment and leave it alone! Maybe your just pretty ;)

LEE 100 · Apr 24, 2008, 06:17 AM

Originally Posted by Miricale 123

My wife's friend is always looking at me and asking if we could all hang out all the time.

You junk yard dog.

talaniman · Apr 24, 2008, 07:28 AM

Tell your wife, and see what she says. It is her friend.

Miricale 123 · Apr 27, 2008, 04:37 PM

I told her already and she does not think she likes me. She thinks Im being conceited. But tell me this if a woman looks at you a lot, ask why I am not around when my wife hangs out with her and ask for pictures of me. What would you think?

Skell · Apr 27, 2008, 04:41 PM

Why do you want her to be sure?

Miricale 123 · Apr 27, 2008, 04:46 PM

I do not want to be sure I should have worded that better. It makes me uncomfortable to be around her because of the things she does.

Skell · Apr 27, 2008, 08:40 PM

I think you should talk to your wife about it then.

N0help4u · Apr 27, 2008, 09:09 PM

Why do you bother hanging out with her?
Sounds rather odd that she would want to hang out with you so she can compliment your looks and interrogate you like she was your wife or something.

Alty · Apr 27, 2008, 09:12 PM

Maybe she looks at you because something is hanging out of your nose. Wow, get over yourself, she's just looking, not touching. It sounds like you want her to be interested, just remember, you are married.

gracean11 · Apr 27, 2008, 10:57 PM

I think you should avoid her, she will just ruin your marriage life. You should tell your wife about this because she has the right to know. You are already married so you don't have to entertain her, you have the right to ignore her. And the best thing to do is tell your wife about this, be honest to her. It's also her concern.

WFG · Apr 28, 2008, 02:35 AM

Originally Posted by gracean11

I think you should avoid her, she will just ruin your marriage life. You should tell your wife about this because she has the right to know. You are already married so you don't have to entertain her, you have the right to ignore her. And the best thing to do is tell your wife about this, be honest to her. It's also her concern.

One of the few answers, though the telling wife part's been said, that didn't make fun of his question.

Clough · Apr 28, 2008, 04:07 AM

In addition to the answers that have already been given, and without passing any sort of judgment on the situation, I just wanted to add that, when confronted with questions by someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, you could always retort with things like, "What's it to you?" "I'll have to think about that..." And, my favorites which are really non-committal as far as an answer, "Maybe be, maybe not, I'll have to think about it." "That presents a challenge to me but I'm not sure of my response at this time. Perhaps you could help me with it?" (Makes the other person feel as though they have caused you a problem and are in control, when in reality, you just made them feel good that they could be the solution to your problem. You are really in control, they aren't.) "Would you mind rephrasing your question some, because I'm not quite sure what you mean?" And, my all-time favorite answer that really is non-committal if you really think about it, is "Probably so." Stating something as being probable does not make it a reality!

ordinaryguy · Apr 28, 2008, 04:20 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

And, my all-time favorite answer that really is non-committal if you really think about it, is "Probably so" Stating something as being probable does not make it a reality!

A couple of others along this line are, "Why do you ask?" and "You may be right."

Clough · Apr 28, 2008, 04:54 AM

Very true! I had forgotten about those! Thank you! The point being here collectively is, asking questions doesn't necessarily mean that you are being on the defensive or even being on the offensive when asking questions when someone is seeming to make you feel uncomfortable, but that you are hip to appropriate and polite responses according to how they have asked questions.

Miricale 123 · Apr 28, 2008, 04:58 AM

I ask those questons and all she says is "Im just asking"or "Im just making conversation"

Fr_Chuck · Apr 28, 2008, 05:17 AM

Well first although I think it has been covered, it is not proper for a married man to be "hanging" with other women, esp if not in a group.
You should merely stop putting yourself in this situation.

And who cares if she likes you are not, if she does what are you going to do?? Hopefully nothing different than just ignore her anyway?

I am sorry it appears you also have a interest and want to confirm how she feels for some reason

Miricale 123 · Apr 28, 2008, 05:15 PM

I am sorry but you are absolutely wrong about that because I have no interest whaty so ever. If I did I would not be avoiding contact with her. Duh

Alty · Apr 28, 2008, 09:50 PM

If you had not interest in her whatsoever then you wouldn't be so interested in finding out if she's interested in you.

jrebel7 · Apr 28, 2008, 11:40 PM

Always bring your wife into the equation. If your wife's friend asks if you can hang out with her, tell her you will check with your wife and she is she is available. If the friend says something to you, you can also say, "I can't believe you would say that to me." or "I can't believe you would ask that." That way you are not requiring her to answer your question. You are simply making a statement without answering her question.

You don't mention how long you have been married but I will tell you this. All your life, there will be women or girls who will show interest in you. There will always be opportunities for you to choose to be true to your wife or to have an affair and destroy the love you two have in your marriage. Maybe you are surprised by the girls attention because she is a friend to your wife. That is not an unusal thing. When someone is wanting attention, they will seek it. You will have choices, as I say from now on.

I hope you will decide right now to not question why you are getting attention but to simply direct your full attention to your wife. The friend will get the message and move on. It can be a pretty heady experience getting attention from the opposite sex. It is just so important to keep your priorites straight in this life. You have chosen to be married. Keep your wife always in your mind and heart. The temptations will be easier to walk away from.

No one will keep coming around without encouragement.