I'm in a really confusing situation, when I met my now husband we were only 17 and one of his friends was attracted to me but I declined him, he's J. I pursued my now husband N because I have moved a lot and realised that if you date the most lovable person in a group you are accepted faster, I know that's wrong but it was how I used to thnk. Anyway I did love N and after less than a year he proposed in front of around 100 peole from our church, I think I said yes too quckly out of pressure and we got married too fast, just before the wedding I wanted to leave him becausof aweird fetish he has that repulsed me that he refused to give up. I felt bad about thenwedding cost so married him when I wasn't sure. We've been married two years and have a 5 month old daughter, we argue all the time and he says he's happy but I'm not. Although he has now agreed to give up his fetish after having it since he was 12 I am now so repulsed by him that I feel gross when he even touches me let alone kisses me or wants sex. I hate sex with him and feel so disgusting for having participTed in his fetish for years it's horrible. I now have a huge crush on his friend J who used to like me, but I would never cheat on him no matter how incredibly tempting it is. There is so much confusion I want to do the right thing by my daughter but is it better that she grow up thnking it's OK to not be in love with your husband or that it's OK to get divorced because I wouldn't want this for her at all! My husband is immature and although he's a good dad he's not really ready for family life and is about 12 mentally, he only seems to want sex from me and I often feel such strong hated for hm! I don't know what to do I'm so confused about life I just want to be happy but I don't wantt o be with him! Please help!