I have been with him for 7 years. Let me break down what has happened without having to write an essay. He comes from a Christian background so I thought he was good.

From the start he used to cancel plans, not show up, wanted to party with his friends. I forgave him because he was married and had kids so young so I knew he missed out on all that. I tried to be understanding. This went on we would break up, get back together...anyway, we got married and he only asked because I broke up with him and was seeing someone else. He was good for a while afterwards until 3 months went by. He them started the same stuff over again. This is nothing compared to what was to come. We moved into a townhouse and I became pregnant. everything was fine for a while until he started to stay after work late,blah,blah. I got this bad feeling so I went into his e-mail ad found mails to a girl telling her how cute she was and if she ever broke up with her boyfriend to call him. Told her he could not wait till his ex-GIRLFRIEND (wife) left the house and was hating it. Never mentioned he had a child on the way. After that so many things happened that I would have to write a book. To sum it up he was never home, stayed out all night, ignored me, hateful. Anyway, I had our daughter and he went to Vegas the same weekend i returned home. I found out later from his children from his previous marriage that he had a girlfriend. I took care of our daughter by myself pretty much. He did help financially but then we started sleeping together (yes i know, i was just soon lonely. never felt that way in my whole life) and we got back together. we broke up again.....................anyway after a bunch of stuff i started dating another guy and he freaked out. then he loved me, had to be with me. after months of begging i went back. 2 weeks later he told me it was a mistake. i moved out again. recently i moved back in for financial reasons since i was staying at home. Ever since he has entering to make it work. he really has. but i don't think i want it. The hard thing is its hard when you have a 2 year old that loves her daddy. How do i take away from her having her daddy every night? It is comfortable but the past is alot to take a forgive. I keep being told that God would not want us to divorce and i feel bad. Am I being selfish now that he is trying to change and go to church? I don't know what to do. If you need more details let me know. I just could not include everything.

PixieMama

Oh dear. This relationship sounds like one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. I would say, run, don't walk, away from this. It's going to continue to be more of the same. He'll be good until he gets bored with it again and leaves or screws around with someone else. Again. And it's not healthy for your daughter to witness a relationship that is of this nature. It would be better for all involved, the child especially, if you two part ways and work out some sort of joint/shared custody. That way she can still has both of her parents but I'm a firm believer that it is important for children to see their parents happy. You have forgiven him for so much that he probably didn't deserve. You two have tried to make it work countless times. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, it's just not going to work. You tried. And no it's time to say goodbye. You will always be apart of each others lives because you share a child, but that doesn't mean you have to live together or be romantically involved with each other.

I wish you all the best. This just sounds like a crappy situation. Yes it's hard. Yes, it's going to hurt. But in the long run, it will be better for everyone.

jodybranch

Thank you PixieMama. This has been so hard. I tried to talk with him and told him that I know he does not love me and we should just part. he said he is trying to be a good husband and I agreed. He is doing things he has never done before. But when I asked him if he loved me he said "one day I do one day I dont". He told me he wants to make it work for his daughter and he is taking it day by day.

I agree with you PixieMama, he will get bored eventually because the love is not there. You know how you can see it on someones eyes when they look at you?
I do beleive he wants to make it work now for his daughter and make up for being so horrible. But what he does not understand is when you dont love someone you will eventually want out!

The bad thing is I sound like one of those wimpy, oh he will change girls and I am really not. I consider myself to be a strong woman. It is just the fear of being what I grw up with. My mom wants not a good "single mom" at all.
Dag this sucks!
Jody