This last weekend I felt that my husband was abit cold towards me... Anyway, so I have asked him if he is OK and he said yes he is fine (I somehow don't really believe him) we have a lot of financial strain and bills to pay right now.

Yesterday I was invited out for a girls bottle party with my mum.. I went and while there I messaged him asking him if he loves me.. I was abit typsy and felt like being silly..

He ignored my message!

As I got home.. he was on the PC and I asked him if he got my message and he just shrugged his shoulders and carried on watching TV... So I made myself a cup of tea and pottered around the kitchen purposly to see if he at least would ask me if I had a nice time. BUt nothing! This morning he got up for work and left without saying bye or anything!

Is this normal?? Should I be worried?
Im quite upset :(

Why do you need so much reassuance that your husband loves you? Of course you referring to him as stupid is soooo loving and respectful!! Sometimes we only get what we give. If you unhappy, have you thought maybe he is too. You might want to sit down together and talk about what you both need and want out of this marriage. Texting him from a bottle party while being tipsy is not real good communication skills. If nothing else works try some counceling. Don't give up, maybe try showing by example. Good luck

I think your projecting your own feelings on him, and that's not fair at all.

Seems you need something from him, but don't quite know how to approach it. Just because you have certain feelings that you can't seem to express, doesn't mean your husband knows what you're going through. Learn to identify your feelings, where they come from, and how best to express them.

Calling your husband stupid based on his inability to read your mind may be one reason he appears distant, your attitude is a bit much. If there is something you need or want to say or talk about, do it. If he says he's OK take him at his word. Don't criticize him because he is not on your wave length.

I'm not sure how he would react, if you put it in words. Here is my interpretation of how your concerns could be worked into a real conversation:

"Honey, you aren't paying enough attention to me. I need to know that when I when I ask you if everything is okay, and you say it is, that you understand that what that really means is, I want to you pay more attention to me. When I go to a bottle party (I honestly do not know what that is, but from what you said, I presume it is a drinking party), and I text you, that I expect you to answer back right away, and know that I need you to pay attention to me. And when I get home, and you are still not paying attention to me, even though I drop hints like make noise in the kitchen, well, you really need to pay more attention to me."

You'll have to pardon my sarcasm here, but, perhaps it is you, that should be paying more attention, to him.

Anyway, if that's all you have to complain about, which really has no substance, consider yourself fortunate.

I don't know about your husband, but when anyone calls me stupid, I do not react with kindness.

However, I would be curious as to what you thought I was stupid about. Also I might say to myself, "Hm, look who's talking." and shut down completley.

By the way, why is he considered by you to be stupid?

To the Op... "Stupid is as stupid does". If you act like an A$$, expect to be treated as one.

If you were 'tipsy' are you sure you sent the message you thought you did?

Has drinking and getting 'tipsy'/drunk been an issue in the past?

You already know he is stressed. So are you. Asking if he is okay is a conversation starter to you. It is a simple question with a quick answer to him. At that moment he was 'okay' end of the matter.

Stress affects people in different ways. Some people get aggressive and strike out at anything and anyone. Others internalize their feelings in an attempt to deal with it without causing more stress for others. Usually they don't see the stress their shutting down causes until somebody lets them know. The 'I feel like something is wrong, can we talk?' conversation starter.

It sounds like both of you are reacting to the stress rather than communicating. Working together as a couple sometimes means letting your partner have space to work through his/her own issues while you work on your own and being ready to work on the mutual ones together.

What have you done lately to let the worries go and just enjoy being together?

I don't know your husband's mindset but I also don't respond to messages sent by people who are drinking nor do I talk to them when they arrive wherever I am - not until they are 100% sober.

I was married to an alcoholic - not that you are one - and there were PLENTY of mornings when I didn't ask him how the night before was and say anything when I walked out the door to work.

I fail to see how your husband is stupid and, quite frankly, I don't think you are using your head.

Your relationship has been problematical (and I'm not going to take the time to post all the threads) for years - don't you think it's time for one or both of you to seek counselling? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ht-280362.html

It would appear you have little respect for each other.

It sounds like your husband has been stressed lately and it is really bothering him. Instead of asking him if he is OK, try caring for him a bit more and asking if there is anything you can do to help. Asking your husband if he loves you explains exactly why he ignored you. How would you feel toward your husband if he asked you such a thing? Just give him some time and show some affection and that you care, after a while he might even open up to you and tell you what's bothering him.Questioning his love would only hurt him. Stress is one thing that can drive people apart very easily, it drove my family to divorce and nothing but despair
I agree with the other answers on this page that lead toward the question of how this makes your husband stupid.

That first sentence made me giggle.

Thanks for your answers..

I hope you two learn to like each other, then maybe both of you will stop giving permission to abuse each other.. what I'm saying is if you continue to show disrespect for one another, and the other keeps taking it, then there is no real need to treat the other any better.