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    raynae's Avatar
    raynae Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 1, 2007, 07:55 AM
    Step daughter
    This is another problem we had along with the other post. Something I need to know if I'm right or wrong. My husband has a daughter he raised since she was 9, he spoile her and never told her no and still doesn't she is 25. When we first got together she sang in kerokie bars and at fairs etc... he would make her CD's to sing by and Shirts and supported her all the way. Well my problem with this is he never had a problem listening to country music in the beginning, in the last 5 months of marriage he won't let me listen to any music on the radio in the car or in the house he will turn them off, same with the TV he doesn't want me to watch TV anymore. So I had cable shut off so now I can't listen to music in my car or home or watch TV when he is around, he wants my undivied attention, he says he wants to talk, I say about what he says "us" it last for hours, I'm so sick of talking. Wow!!
    The other problem with step daughter. Before we got together they had daddy/daughter dates a couple times a month. When we got together we decided together that neither one of us would do anything without the other, because me and my son (25) did a lot together also. So after 5 months of marriage she calls and wants to take her dad out for his birthday he said OK we will meet you at ____ she said no I just want you to go not her. He said we don't do anything without the other. She blew and blamed me for it. (he had her on speaker phone so I heard it all) I told him if he wanted to go it would be OK, and he said no not without you. A couple of days later I called her and talked to her answering machine ( guess she was mad at me) I said I'm going to have a birthday party for your dad and I was wanting to know what would be a good time for you guys to come over before I called anyone else, she never returned my call. He called her thanksgiving and ask her to come out she made all kinds of excuses same for christmas, she said just bring the presents to my house, so he talked me into that. I didn't go in because she had told him as long as you are with her I will not come out to your house and I don't want her over here. She blames me for everything of course, because she thinks I have taken her dad away, I haven't!! He needs to stand up to her and tell her the truth. He won't let me call her because he thinks we will fight. I told him everything would be OK but he still insist I don't. Probably because he is lying to her or me one.
    What do you guys think??
    Northwind_Dagas's Avatar
    Northwind_Dagas Posts: 348, Reputation: 83
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    #2

    May 1, 2007, 08:10 AM
    You're divorced, and you don't trust him. Why do you care about what your ex-step-daughter thinks?
    raynae's Avatar
    raynae Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 1, 2007, 08:25 AM
    This all happen when we were married. She had told me in the beginning, when anyone of his girlfriend stepped in between him and her she would find a way to split them up. I think that is what happen to us, he listen to her so many times. If she is not happy with his choice , he does the girlfriend or in this case the wife (me) bad until they leave.
    Northwind_Dagas's Avatar
    Northwind_Dagas Posts: 348, Reputation: 83
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    #4

    May 1, 2007, 08:34 AM
    Well, unless his daughter is dying or going away for a very long time, what do you expect to change? Why call her now when you aren't together anymore?

    As I said, you need to move on and to do that is to sever your ties. You don't seem to like my advice so I'll let others answer.
    raynae's Avatar
    raynae Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 1, 2007, 08:37 AM
    I did Love your advice, thanks!!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    May 1, 2007, 09:25 AM
    I think this whole thing between your husband, you, and his daughter, is so screwed up, I have no clue how you even got together let alone married. I would put you all in a corner till you started to behave like adults.
    raynae's Avatar
    raynae Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 1, 2007, 09:53 AM
    Before we got married and everything was great between all of us. Then after 5 months of marriage is when it all started changing, Now before you put me in the corner tell me what part I haven't acted like a adult in. I loved my husband very much, and haven't done one thing wrong. He is the one wanting to get back together, he is the one that keeps calling everyday, I don't answer the phone every time he calls, He screwed up the only thing I did was love him. His daughter is the one that needs to be put in the corner, she needs to let her dad have his own life and not try to run it for him and he should be man enough to stand up to her and tell her. He is the one that made all the phone calls talking to other women.
    Bethme's Avatar
    Bethme Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 19, 2011, 08:20 PM
    Hi just wondering how things have been going with your ex? Did you guys get back together? A couple thing in your post was that you guys would not take time for your own kids. My husband's kids (13 and 14, boy and girl) live with us and every other Saturday he takes them out, just he and them. And it is kind of weird for me and it a way a bit hurtful, but I also take my time to go out just he and I. I do think she was way too old to be behaving that way. I think you were doing everything right, except that part, not allowing him to go out with his daughter by themselves... they needed that time together.. as hurftful as it may sound.

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