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Is it reasonable to want to take a couple days away from your husband? We have been married 23 years, and have spent most of that time with each other. The only times we have had apart is years ago when he went to Alaska to visit his brother, and when he was in he National Guard when he did his training once a month, and then yearly 2 week training.
We have been having marital, difficulty's, and I just feel the need to have some time to myself. To give myself breathing room.
No I would not pursue a relationship with Rob.
I guess that means I won't have a social life then. Rob and I have friends in common, and we get together once a month for a potluck, and to party. I look forward to seeing my friends, and having fun. I have asked my husband to come with me, but he refuses, so what am I supposed to do then? I can't ask my friends to not invite Rob.
So for the sake of my marriage, Im supposed to give up seeing my other friends because Rob will be there? or he is supposed to no come because I will be there because you think he should "back off" for awhile?
You can have a social life. Just don't be too distracted, or to angry to address the problems with your husband. Thats what good partners do when problems develop between them, no matter what they are.
bab, you should be able to have friends. That isn't in question.
The question is why didn't you pursue the other thread as diligently as you have this one? You didn't respond to any of the advice given there or answer Talaniman's questions about "trying to include him or leaving him to his own devices" or whether or not that was/is the extent of your social life.
Your husband needs to work on his insecurities. That is a given. You both need to work on the marriage. Communication and trust seem sadly lacking at this time.
I think you need to examine why "need my space" seems more important than "husband feels like a third wheel". I think it points to some larger underlying problems than a friendship.
by the sounds of it you do need a bit of breathing space and time on your own to think and reflect on your relationship. by the sounds of it there are trust issues wich need to be sorted thers no point in having a realtionship with no trust because this is just going to drag you down and make your life a misery!
time onyour own could make you think wether this relationship is worth fighting for.. or its time to move on and be on your own for a while.
Your husbands a man
Robs a Single man
Your husband knows what Rob is capable of doing and thinking even if you have no interest.
It happens ALL the time
I am not responsible for my husbands lack of socializing at a party, with people he knows. He is a big boy and should be able to do that himself, and yes I have stayed with him and not left him to his own devices. If he wants to have his butt glued to the sofa and not interact with other people, too bad. He can stay at home.
We have done fun things together other than party with friends. So its thats not the extent of our social life.
We did go to see father down at the rectory for marital counseling, but I don't think it did any good. I would rather see a professional ( no disrespect to the father) because I do think it would help our marriage, and your right, without some kind of help, things won't get better.
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