Check out some similar questions!

radioactive4 · Jul 9, 2009, 08:27 AM

I recently got married but before I married my wife she wanted to break up. Her reasoning is she wanted to be alone. She broke up but she went and talked to two of her ex's could that be the cause of insecurity?

88sunflower · Jul 9, 2009, 08:42 AM

Why exactly did she go see her exes? Was she having regrets about leaving one of them? Was she not sure of getting married? Have you asked her about this? Is there more to the story? I think some people do have a small sense of insecurity when the get married. But breaking it off with you before to be alone and then she runs to her ex doesn't make sense.

N0help4u · Jul 9, 2009, 08:45 AM

If you are insecure because of her breaking up and telling you she wanted to be alone when she really wanted to see these other guys then I can see why you could be insecure. But you need to reprioritize your thinking. Go by what she is doing now, not what she did then. She may have felt she needed closure or to be sure she was making the right move to marry. She came back. She chose you over anything else she might/could have had. So move forward and don't take two steps back.

88sunflower · Jul 9, 2009, 08:48 AM

As long as her actions are with good intentions in your marriage I don't see why you should feel insecure. Or has she given reason for you to wonder? She is with you, she married you, so you're the one she loves.

radioactive4 · Jul 9, 2009, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

As long as her actions are with good intentions in your marriage I dont see why you should feel insecure. Or has she given reason for you to wonder? She is with you, she married you, so your the one she loves.

I really just did not understand the point of her wanting to be alone I thought it was a selfish move on her part. I mean everything was going good and then she wanted to be alone. She went back to one just to get money. He wanted her back but she said no. the other one she did not see she just requested him as a friend on Facebook. But she deleted him as well. I really should not be insecure or jealous because she is with me and she chose me for who I am and what I believe.

N0help4u · Jul 9, 2009, 02:25 PM

So she felt she had to tie up loose ends.
You should be glad she wanted to make a transition and choose you.
Don't try to analyse, thank God for her everyday.
I don't think she was selfish. So she took a little time from the relationship. You should be more secure in that she DID come back to you even when she had every opportunity to go off with the other guy.
Count your blessings.

radioactive4 · Jul 9, 2009, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

So she felt she had to tie up loose ends.
You should be glad she wanted to make a transition and choose you.
Don't try to analyse, thank God for her everyday.
I don't think she was selfish. So she took a little time from the relationship. You should be more secure in that she DID come back to you even when she had every opportunity to go off with the other guy.
Count your blessings.

Thank you for your input I appriciate it.

radioactive4 · Jul 9, 2009, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by radioactive4

Thank you for your input I appriciate it.

Ok I have another question. My wife is in a women's bootcamp and she has the personal trainer on her Facebook page is that norman? Also she added another guy today and I wanted to ask her how she new him but I didn't. If I ask her that question is that considered insecurity or do you think she is testing me to see if I will say anything?

Stringer · Jul 9, 2009, 10:47 PM

If you have shown her that you are insecure because of her actions before she may be testing you and she may believe that you may be the jealous type.

How long were the two of you together before you got married? Has this type of thing occurred before at any time?

Stringer

radioactive4 · Jul 10, 2009, 01:35 AM

Originally Posted by Stringer

If you have shown her that you are insecure because of her actions before she may be testing you and she may believe that you may be the jealous type.

How long were the two of you together before you got married? Has this type of thing occurred before at any time?

Stringer

6 months. No it has not.

N0help4u · Jul 10, 2009, 03:23 AM

Oh I was under the impression that now you two had a normal marriaged life... not her off at some bootcamp or anything.

Now I don't know. You can only guess where she stands on your marriage and relationship if she isn't home with you being the loving wife. I would just ask her who the guys are and why she was interested in having them on her Facebook. If you just ask her in conversation without sounding demanding, accusing or any negative way then it should be okay.

Gee just married and she is in bootcamp.

88sunflower · Jul 10, 2009, 07:12 AM

Once again Facebook and Myspace cause some stresses. Your both mature adults. There are hundreds of women and men who have the opposite sex listed as friends on there Facebook. Maybe she just wanted one more friend. I wouldn't read too much in to that since it's a normal thing. Maybe its just a way to get to know each other or keep in touch after bootcamp. If she is saying she is single and looking or if he is leaving her some questionable comments then I would wonder. Maybe you both need to talk more and see where you stand in this marriage. With her away I understand being insecure.

radioactive4 · Jul 10, 2009, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Once again Facebook and Myspace cause some stresses. Your both mature adults. There are hundreds of women and men who have the opposite sex listed as friends on there Facebook. Maybe she just wanted one more friend. I wouldnt read to much in to that since its a normal thing. Maybe its just a way to get to know each other or keep in touch after bootcamp. If she is saying she is single and looking or if he is leaving her some questionable comments then I would wonder. Maybe you both need to talk more and see where you stand in this marriage. With her away I understand being insecure.

I guess I should have been more clear she is just in an exercise bootcamp she is home every night. I just don't understand how people would just meet someone once and automatically have them as a frind on either of them.

88sunflower · Jul 10, 2009, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by radioactive4

I guess I should have been more clear she is just in an exercise bootcamp she is home every night. I just don't understand how people would just meet someone once and automatically have them as a frind on either of them.

Well I guess if it bothers you then you just have to ask her. Everyone out there will tell you communication is important for a marriage to work. If you want to know ask her. Just don't ask her in an accusing tone.

LiveAndLove0923 · Jul 10, 2009, 08:54 AM

I think that you need to sit down and talk to her about this. Does she seem happy and normal now? Or is this ongoing? If I were you id sit down and talk to her about that situation.

Stringer · Jul 10, 2009, 09:08 AM

Usually after a marriage there are still plenty of adjustments to be made, even if the couple has been together for some time. These adjustments can cause some concern to either person, but if you talk about them, try to work on them it helps establish a firm foundation to the relationship that is both giving and lasting. But they should be discussed in a fashion that is non threatening and both must be supportive and understanding.

Stringer

N0help4u · Jul 10, 2009, 07:49 PM

Yeah if she is coming home to you every night and all then all you really should need to do is communicate to clear things up

zippit · Jul 10, 2009, 07:56 PM

Can't say I agree with this advice.I think she has cold feet and is playing the field.if it was me and my girl was doing these things I would cut her loose in a heart-beat

N0help4u · Jul 10, 2009, 08:04 PM

IF...
He only has insecurities right now and a few questionable things.
He needs to look for things that make him suspect something is going on.

If she isn't doing anything wrong then it would be ashame for him to just cut her loose.

N0help4u · Jul 11, 2009, 07:14 PM

zippit disagrees: wrong she's done enough

Can you please list what all she HAS done that is enough to cut her loose?

Just because you would personally simply cut someone loose doesn't mean that other relationships aren't willing to work things out and go to counselling and forgive each other.

I'm glad I'm not your wife because I talk to guys about raising kids and recipes and understanding their wife better sometimes.