[drmsofstone]

Ok, my dillema is this- I suspect my step father is cheating on my mother. They have been married for five years now. They just recently had a child, my little brother who is 9 months.
My mother and him fight a lot, especially lately. For the last month he has gotten calls on his cell phone and claims to my mother that they have been telemarketers. Then one night (a couple of weeks ago), he got another call on his phone. My mother got angry and insisted he answer it but he didn't answer it in time. He yelled back at her that he knew who it was and then proceeded to take the house phone, dial a 1-800 number and said to the person "Please stop calling me " and some other things, but we (both me and my mother) heard the dial tone on the other end. She pointed that out to him, and they got into a fight about who was calling. He said it was HSBC - a bank.
A couple days later, a bill came in the mail for him, for a credit cards. My step father doesn't own any credit cards. The bill was a large amount over the limit and was expected to be paid in full. To our knowledge, my step father doesn't own any credit cards because he claimed bankruptcy a few years ago. He claimed the card was not his and both my mom and him now seem to believe his identity was stolen. They believe HSBC was calling because they are the bank behind that credit card.
Before I finish let me point out that we are not sure why he had to cliam bankruptcy- why his cards got run up. He may have had a spending problem for all we know. Unfortunately, the bill was not a recent enough one for anything that was purchased with it to be listed... but then that begs the question that where are all the other bills? My step father is the one who brings in the mail everyday...
The third reason I suspect he is cheating, is because 2 days ago while I was playing with my baby brother in the living room, my step father was standing near by and I noticed his cell phone on the couch next to him began to blink, as if it was ringing on silent. Noticing it, he dropped a piece of clothing on top of it and acted as if nothing happened... instead of answering it like most people would. Then he asked if I would watch the baby while he showered. He went upstairs but did not turn on the water until 12 minutes after he'd went upstairs...

Am I going crazy, or is something going on? I don't want my mom and step father to get a divorce. I don't want that for my baby brother... What should I do? Should I say something to someone?

[valinors_sorrow]

Dear Drum-- I am not sure what to say here except I hear the burdens of the world seemingly resting on a kid's shoulders when they shouldn't be. I wish I was in a position to shore up your whole family a little too. Please have a quiet talk with your mom about these concerns -- she is your family after all. You may need reassuring from her as much as she needs to know how much you are looking out for her and the new baby. I know you think she is burdened now and don't want to add to them but I think it can only help if she knows where you are coming from. Afterwards, please do yourself a big favor and relieve yourself of the duty of any further reconnaissance missions on step-dad, okay? Focus instead on helping to welcome that new baby brother of yours into the family for now. Please try to leave the concerns of the marriage to your mom and step-dad, as they should be. At the risk of sounding overly simple, it's their marriage and they are the adults in it. You really can't solve problems that aren't here yet so in the meantime try not to fret and... well... go play for a change! The time for playing will be over far too soon, trust me. Thanks for posting here and I hope this helps. From one step kid (long ago) to another, I know how it is.