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zeeniee · Jan 24, 2009, 12:35 AM

Could watch a movie on DVD, play some music- that will make you feel good or just go to bed and have a good sleep... and do something nice tom- and then tell us all- I am sure many of us would like to hear how tom was a slightly better day than today--even if it was for 15mins...

zeeniee · Jan 24, 2009, 12:38 AM

So tom when you write on this post start with:

1) Something good you did for yourself

2) Then talk about the ex and how your feeling etc...

Have a nice night!

Gearhe4d · Jan 24, 2009, 12:39 AM

Hm, okay.

zeeniee · Jan 24, 2009, 12:42 AM

Yes- goood- glad to here the OKAY bit..

I shall be waiting to here to hear something good!!

EVen if it is something like I had a haircut or I cleaned my room up... got to start somewhere gearhe4d.. and so GET GOING MATE!

Gearhe4d · Jan 24, 2009, 12:54 AM

Oh for F***'s sake, now she's talking to me on MSN and telling me that the new thong she recently bought is fitting well and she's happy she didn't waste money on it. Then she had the nerve to say that she was tired and a lot of crazy stuff is going on at school, she said that it was "personal."

Does she know that she is teasing me now?

zeeniee · Jan 24, 2009, 12:57 AM

See gearhe4d,

It is not easy-- like for me as well- its v hard--right?

So what did I do today

Chilled and now I will be heading to the gym doing something good for me- it is only 2 hrs- but that is better than nothing- right?

Then when I get Back I probably be as miserable as you are feeling... that's the way it is.. but at least I gave myself 2 hrs to ME...

Sometimes when things get really hard and tough- you have to pick yourself up- start small like 10 minutes, then 1 hr, then 4 hrs, then half a day then 1 day--eventually will become a week...

zeeniee · Jan 24, 2009, 01:00 AM

Yes she does- and she is loving it-

SHe is loving the pain and tease she is giving you

Looks like she does not want you to be happy and loves torturing you...

But I think you already know that...

Gearhe4d · Jan 24, 2009, 01:02 AM

It just dosen't add up, she used to go out of her way to make me happy. I don't see what's caused this personality shift to make her not mind teasing me and making me want her more, while all the while she is backing away further.

Ugh.

Gearhe4d · Jan 24, 2009, 01:11 AM

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

talaniman · Jan 24, 2009, 06:55 AM

Why do you allow it, knowing what she is doing? That's what I don't understand.

411Help · Jan 24, 2009, 09:14 AM

Give me one good reason why you are still talking to her.

Romefalls19 · Jan 24, 2009, 09:45 AM

Anyone willing to bet money?

I got $20 that says it's "just to be friends with the hope she will see what she is missing"

What if I tell you about my new thong and how it's fitting so well? Does that turn you on too?

Hearing about a thong shouldn't turn you on, neither should seeing one.

411Help · Jan 24, 2009, 10:02 AM

I'll put 20$ on "if I don't talk to her, I WON'T HAVE A CHANCE".

You really need to get up off the ground and stop getting stepped on, seriously. Don't come asking for advice if the only thing you're going to do is ignore it.

Molecular · Jan 24, 2009, 10:04 AM

You know gearhead, I think I sent that exact letter to my ex, and I've regretted it ever since -_-.

And I mean, it's almost an exact replica. It's almost kind of freaky. It did help me get some closure though back when I sent mine but I still realllly regret it.
And my ex also started teasing me the same way yours is doing. Trying to get me to dig for more information about what's going on with her.
I think in a way she's testing you to see if she's still got control over you. I know, it's confusing as hell. How one person could change so drastically so quickly is quite mind-numbing and almost hurts more than the fact that you're not with this person at the moment. It kind of makes you wonder if you can trust someone again if this one person suddenly can start acting like this.

But the important thing is that you stay strong and DON'T show her any weakness. Whatever she does or says, really. You'll end up regretting it a lot later.

And when she grows up a little bit, she'll probably realize how childish she was acting.

Gearhe4d · Jan 24, 2009, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by Molecular

You know gearhead, I think I sent that exact letter to my ex, and I've regretted it ever since -_-.

And I mean, it's almost an exact replica. It's almost kind of freaky. It did help me get some closure though back when I sent mine but I still realllly regret it.
And my ex also started teasing me the exact same way yours is doing. Trying to get me to dig for more information about what's going on with her.
I think in a way she's testing you to see if she's still got control over you. I know, it's confusing as hell. How one person could change so drastically so quickly is quite mind-numbing and almost hurts more than the fact that you're not with this person at the moment. It kind of makes you wonder if you can trust someone again if this one person suddenly can start acting like this.

But the important thing is that you stay strong and DON'T show her any weakness. Whatever she does or says, really. You'll end up regretting it a lot later.

And when she grows up a little bit, she'll probably realize how childish she was acting.

I guess I'm glad I posted it here before sending it. Well, every time she tells me about what's going on with her guy friends, and the whole thing about how the stuff she is going through at school is "personal" I've just ignored, and said something like "Ah, okay" and then left it alone. I'm trying my best to act like none of this bothers me, hope I'm doing the right thing here.

Arzy99 · Jan 24, 2009, 12:49 PM

Well... your not doing anything wrong as such, but what your doing will never help you... a MUCH MUCH MUCH better thing to do would be to completely stop speaking to her and not get any info about how she is or what she is doing, cut her out of your life... its called NC... and there are 24 pages on this thread full of people telling you to initiate it... I think its time you start listening!

sprayingballs · Jan 24, 2009, 01:41 PM

Hi everyone

I am new here so I thought I would introduce myself :)
First of all, gearhead you are a very lucky fellow to have all these people sharing their own painful experiences and then having the spirit and good will to pass on their wisdom to yourself.
I wrote a considerably longer first post than this, but I lost my browser and lost the text (I work in IT too unforgivable :eek:)!
However I shall keep this short, I am going out shortly for one and for two 'gearhead' you don't have much time.
I shall be blunt, because having read the threads on here, all who have been increadibly patient and kind you need to here this...

She in her own encrypted, cruel way is telling you she has had a look around and she is now ready for some guy to give her a damned good seeing to.
She is already well over you, you ensured this happened being her 'friend' and has some guy she likes in mind hence the announcement of some seriously sexy underwear, and the news of what is clearly 'man association'.
Now is your time, do not delay, tell her (on MSN so she won't hear your upset) you have been thinking about it for a while but you now no longer feel as you did and have other interests now you have moved on. Tell her you want t pursue your interests and want NC.
Tell her thanks for great times and you wish her well but lets just move on.
TAKE CONTROL before it's to late! AND KEEP NC at all times!
Some guy is going to be filling his boots in your ex very very soon and you are going to feel so so much worse, it's hard enough hearing it from someone like me who you probably hate (no offence taken on my behalf) but it will be much worse than that if you hear from someone you know and your still hanging around her!
This is your chance to show her you are a changed man she will respect you, might even regret you but you have to take the initiative and do it NOW for your own good!
DO IT !

LAMBCHOPS · Jan 24, 2009, 04:01 PM

It's a breakup.
It'll be hard for awhile but you sound like you're young so don't worry, you'll be fine. I promise that. Just give it time.

Just some advice (I'm older than you + a woman) --
Women who are very, very wise, want to marry the good guys who make their devotion clear.

I'd be willing to bet that your girlfriend will wind up with a jerk and you'll be the one who she was foolish enough to get away. If she's lucky, you'll be single.

NorthernNiceGuy · Jan 24, 2009, 04:46 PM

Hope this thong and "personal" business has knocked her down a few rungs on that pedestal... Are you starting to see that she is not that perfect girl you thought she was..

That's malicious, she's not stupid and knows that hurts you... sounds like she really cares about you a lot.

So, whens the NC starting?

Gearhe4d · Jan 25, 2009, 12:00 AM

It's just hard for some reason for me to go ahead with no contact, I can't seem to make myself do it, part of me is think that I need to just completely ignore her, and forget about her and try to just beat it all out of my head by doing some sort of magical "other stuff" that will keep my mind busy, and then this other part of me just keeps thinking that I might miss out on some opportunity to get her back, and then do it all right, and not being too much... ugh, I guess I'm not as strong willed about it as you other guys who went ahead with NC.

Not only those things, but I really just feel lonely too, and just talking to her sort of breaks up the boredom and constant thinking I'm doing. It's weird..