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    princess18's Avatar
    princess18 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 24, 2005, 02:36 AM
    He's gone again what do I do
    :confused: I have been with my fiancé for almose 4 years well we were doing OK until about 2 weeks ago I was up in the hospital because I thaught I was having a miss carige. Well I had to stay there for 2 days and in that time I dident get one phone call or one visit from him.then I come to find out that my mother told him to stay away from me and our daughter until he can do right by us . So I thaught that he would just ignor her and I would see him when I got home well when I got home all of his stuff was gone. He called right as I got home and asked me to bring him is dog. I asked why he left and he told me that its just not working out between us and that he's not happy anymore. But the day before christmas ev he comes to see his daughter and is nice to me and I got him a present and he liked it and said thank you. And asked if I wanted to go back to his place so our baby could see his sister and his friends I said no but I don't know what he is doing . Do you think he is doing all of this because of what my mom said or what please help I really need to know and if you have any suggestions on how I can get him back asap please tell me that too thanks a lot bye
    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Dec 24, 2005, 06:14 AM
    Be kind to him but keep a little distance. Let him be away for a bit. Talk to your mother and tell her to butt-out.

    Except that if she is saying what you SHOULD be saying to him, then say it yourself.

    You two need to have some serious heart to heart conversations before continuing on as fiancés.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Dec 24, 2005, 06:37 AM
    Living together
    Hi,
    You and your boyfriend, fiancé, have a daughter? And were living together?
    I am glad you are out of the hospital, and I do hope everything is OK, healthwise.
    Your Mom is very concerned, and I think my Mom (now deceased), might have said the same thing. Mom's want they think "is best" for their children.
    Did you and your finance ever talk about when you would be married? Did you ever tell your Mom you two have set a date?
    If no to both, then your Mom probably thinks nothing is going to happen, except continue to live with him. She is trying to "make him" make a decision, of whether he will marry you or not. I think that's what she meant by telling him to "do right" with you.
    I am not saying I agree with your Mom, but she does have a say, since she is your Mother, and some say much more than others!
    I agree with rickj. Talk with your Mom, and more importantly, talk with your fiancé. Does he love you? Is he willing to set a date to marry? Are you going to continue living with this man forever, with no other plans?
    This is what your Mom is worried about.
    I do wish you the best, and please have a "heart-to-heart" talk with your fiancé.
    nymphetamine's Avatar
    nymphetamine Posts: 900, Reputation: 109
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Dec 24, 2005, 07:09 AM
    Mama's just trying to protect you. You been together with this dude for 4 years and you stilll haven't gotten married? That raises questions for me as into how serious he is in marrying you. You should have been married along time ago. He put the engagement ring on your finger and asked you to marry him or was that just because you have a child by him and he felt like even if he didn't want to he better do the " right" thing and marry you? Im just curious about the long wait when you have a child together. Mama may have thought the same thing.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Dec 24, 2005, 08:05 AM
    He's gone, what do you do?
    Four years and a baby and one on the way is a lot to think about.First as a mother your child is A-number one on your list.Even though you make it sound like he is in your daughters life make sure he is dong the right thing by her(child support) I have always been suspicious of people who say one thing and do another,as in "I want to be with you but I took all my stuff and moved out just as you need my support and help cause I got you pregnant."This is really not the kind of person to depend on especially if your mother can tell him what to do.Even though I believe she has your interest at heart,the fact that boyfriend chose to cut instead of be at your side makes me wonder.I would take his action as a blessing to give you space to think about where your going with him and a warning of what he may do down the road.Right now please take care of yourself and your child and stay away from stress if you can,Mom loves you so lean on her as you need the best of care now and let things work out the way they will,good luck!:cool:

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