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tomnagle333 · Nov 19, 2007, 08:11 AM

I am in college and have been dating a girl for a little over a year. Last weekend, I had a date party with a student organization that I am involved in. She choose to go a party with her friends, instead of coming to my party (she isn't good friends with mine).

SO.. I took a friend of mine to the date party (my girlfriend was OK totally OK with it). My date was a friend that I had ZERO attraction to. However, after drinking so much that I blacked out, my date and I kissed. I do not remember any of the night, but was told about it the next day.

I felt horrible, I have never done anything like this in my life. I told my girlfriend the next day because I had so much guilt. Making things worse, it was her birthday. For obvious reasons, she can't trust me and doesn't think we will ever get back together.

I am devastated, I love this girl and really hurt her. I have drank before but never acted this way. (I know, being drunk is a bad excuse). Is there anyway I can fix this situation?

misterk · Nov 19, 2007, 08:14 AM

Tell her you're sorry and wait a few days.

BiWiccanAndProud · Nov 19, 2007, 12:12 PM

Well truly it WAS the alcohol not you... tell her you will never drink that much again! Tell her you love her and make sure she knows it is sencere... it's seriously not like you meant too. If anything else have her talk to your friend to confirm it... your friend doesn't like you does she?

peggyhill · Nov 19, 2007, 12:49 PM

Did you guys just kiss? I agree she has a right to be upset, especially since it was her birthday. In retrospect, it might have been better for you to go to her party since it was her birthday. But, if you had a commitment to your student organization to be there then I guess that's OK. It's kind of sad because she was cool enough to not have a problem with you going to your organization's party and taking a friend. That goes to show how much she trusted you.

However, I'm not trying to preach at you or anything. Alcohol can really lower your inhibitions and make you do things that you might otherwise never do. I'm not putting all the blame on the drinking, after all, you made the decision to drink until you blacked out. (Which, by the way, is really dangerous and hard on your body). But, the thing is if you had so much alcohol in you that you didn't even remember it, then I can see why people would say it was just a dumb drunk mistake. I've seen drunk people kiss someone they didn't even like just because they were drunk.

Here's the thing, I think most girls in her positions would be mad. And the fact that it was her birthday doesn't help. The good thing is that you felt guilty and told her. It's much better for her to hear it from you than from someone else.

Give her some time to calm down. She has lost trust in you and is very hurt right now. You already apologized, so just give her space. After some time has gone by, she may be willing to talk to you about it and perhaps give you another chance. I think after she calms down, she will realize that you were blacked out drunk and all that happened was a kiss. She may or may not break up with you over it, but at least she will know that you weren't in the right frame of mind when it happened. If she does give you another shot, she probably won't want you going to parties by yourself if you are going to be drinking. It takes time to rebuild trust, but, if she is willing to give you another chance, this is something that you guys can work through. Good luck to you! And, good for you for being honest with her; that took courage.