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confusedandlonely · Nov 11, 2007, 06:03 PM

Recently, my best friend and I went to a show at a bar. We both got drunk and I ended up making out with her older brother right in front of her. She was not very happy with me for doing that and she yelled at me in front of everyone at the bar multiple times. I know it's not an excuse but I was waay to drunk and I would never have been disrespectful like that if I were sober. I lied to her and said, "I'm not doing anything" just so she would quit yelling at me, but then she'd turn around and I'd be right back on him.
I ended up leaving with him and not telling her (I didn't even realize we were going to leave) and then I lied to her on the phone and told her I was alone going home. Needless to say, she didn't believe me.
Her brother and I ended up hooking up and I stayed at his place until about 4pm the next day.
I got my friends text messages the next morning about how 'she knew I was lying and why was I ignoring her phone calls?'. I talked to my friend and told her I was sorry for what happened.
BUT I hung out with him again the next day and innocently spent the night even though I knew she was mad about that night. I lied to her and told her nothing happened and that he had just dropped me off at home.
I know this sounds horrible but she is still mad about me lying (she found out the whole truth later) and now she forbids me to even talk to him because it's 'inappropriate' and 'uncomfortable'. I was hoping she would get over me lying to her because it's completely out of character for me. I just enjoy her brother's company and would like to keep hanging out with him. BUT she is basically saying that if I'm a friend at all, I won't have anything to do with him. I don't think this is fair and it's gotten blown way out of proportion. I know that it's selfish to want to hang out with him but I can't understand why she can't get over that one night and realize that we are all adults and I just want to hang out with him.
I know how this sounds. Any reasonable person would say to stay away from the brother and be a good friend but it's just not that easy. I think she is being immature and stubborn!
PLEASE HELP!

Xrayman · Nov 11, 2007, 07:41 PM

So you like/love her brother, does he like/love you? If so bad luck for her-she needs to get over it.-honestly, it's not your problem-it's hers. Tell her this.

Synnen · Nov 12, 2007, 02:24 AM

No offense... but this whole thing sounds so high school.

You lied to your friend. That's VERY bad. There's a trust there that you're going to have to work very hard to get back. I think not seeing her brother for a while, especially since you're not interested in a serious relationship with him, is an apt punishment in the eyes of your friend.

See... she can't know you're REALLY sorry unless you do something to make up for it. Her terms to make up for it are that you put her before her brother.

If she's really your best friend--isn't that worth it?

Yes, she's acting immature--but you are and were too. Hooking up with her brother, lying about it, and then not understanding why she's so upset?

Good lord. Just let the brother go for now and work on salvaging your friendship. And stop lying to your friends. Drunk or not--that's a stupid thing to do.

britster · May 13, 2008, 03:42 PM

I think she's acting very immature. I think she is jealous of you and her brother because she thinks it will be taking "time" away from you and her so she's going to make a big deal about it knowing its not really you and her brother being together that's the problem, but not being able to hang out with you as much as she wants to. I know from experience so if you really like/love her brother and he feels the same way.. ask "if u were a real friend you would see that I'm happy ad support me even though its your brother"

o NitSuA o · May 13, 2008, 06:04 PM

Don't chick have a saying "chicks before s"?? I'm a guy and I would say you should stick with that saying... relationships don't always last but true friends can last forever.

Choux · May 13, 2008, 07:38 PM

Girl!

Drunk and out of control... do you think this is the road to happiness or sexual bliss?

If you are "confused and lonely" the solution is to be your authentic, sensitive self meeting other wonderful people along the road of life. :) There are lots of them and even more hiding behind drugs and alcohol and phoney-ness...

Now, get with the program and unload to a good therapist. :)

Best wishes in 2008!

Synnen · May 14, 2008, 06:17 PM

OP's Last Activity: Jan 9, 2008 12:16 AM