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lost83 · Aug 24, 2008, 09:03 PM

I Have Been In A Relationship For 7 Years. We Have Lived Together For 3 Years. Through Out Our Relationship We Have Had Many Heated Arguments Where We Have Split And We Both Thought It Was Over. We Always Seemed To Find One Another Again. In February He Purposed.
Recently At The End Of June We Got Into A Real Heated Argument And He Had Asked Me To Leave His House And He Called Off The Wedding Saying That We Argued Too Much And He Felt That I Couldn't Amount To The Women Of His Expectations.
We Had Parted Ways And I Had Decided That This Time Thing Were Serious. I Knew That In Order To Repair Things We Would Have To Go Through Serious Counselling.
I Left Him To Be And Go Through The Emotions Of Us Being Apart In Hopes That He Would Have Found Himself And Come Back.
3 Weeks Had Passed And Still We Were Unable To Communicate Clearly About Our Break Up. I Had A Gut Instinct That Something Was Different This Time Around... So I Began To Investigate Further.
I Found Out That Within 1 Month Of Our Breakup He Was Already Seeing Someone Else. He Had Her Already In The House In Which We Lived In With All Our Belongings. The Punch To This Whole Story Is That The Girl He Chose Was A Rreally Good Family Friend who knows that we were engaged and she knows that we broke up 1 month prior.(desperate?) So Meaning That Even If We Could Get Things To Work Out I Would Have To Suck Up A lot Of Pride knowing that I would have to see her at functions. He didn't even get sad about he was just angry and then he went on. I have pleaded with him to give himself time before continuing this relationship with her but he continues to see her. With her in his life he will just forget how much he did love me when we were good. But it seems he already forgot the love he had for me.
He Says That He Did Nothing Wrong As He Broke Up With Me 3 Weeks Prior To Him Dating Her So Its Not Cheating. I Feel So Hurt. I Can't Believe He Could Just Forget Everything And Just Go On. Did He Even Deal With The Break Up.
Is This Just A Rebound? Should I Even Bother Wih Him? Someone Help!!

talaniman · Aug 25, 2008, 06:04 AM

You cut him from your life, and regroup. Be glad you found out about him before marriage , even though you had seven years investment and many arguments along the way. Those break ups were red flags, that something was not good about this relationship. Be glad its over.

Ivory0921 · Aug 25, 2008, 10:21 AM

Move on, move on, move on. Do not look back. This is a good thing for YOU.. Definitely. Better you found out sooner than later - like after you got married. Let him be, you deserve much better and you know it.

lost83 · Aug 25, 2008, 01:56 PM

Thank you for your response.
As the days go by I find myself remembering all the things that I had suspected about him being attracted to her in the past years. He told me that I was foolish to think that he was ever flirting with her or admiring her appearance as he has known her for such a long time. Now I wish that I had listened to those instincts. I'm not sure wheather he decided to seek attention from her to hurt me as he knew how I felt or did he really like her all along. But she has been single all this time and he still purposed to me. I'm so hurt I don't understand what he is thinking. I don't know what to do. He doesn't care about me it seems.

talaniman · Aug 25, 2008, 02:51 PM

Just because he doesn't seem to care, doesn't mean you shouldn't care for yourself, and do what you have to to get over this disaster, and heal!

lost83 · Aug 25, 2008, 06:00 PM

I know but that is much easier said then done. My whole routine is thrown off. I used to live with him. Even though he says I didn't do anything for him I actually did. And now that I'm not I feel so lost. It doesn't seem like he is thinking with a clear head. He said that he had made his choice not to be with me and he feels that he is getting old and so he had no time to waste so that is why he moved on so quick. I think it is just morrally wrong to do that to someone. After 7 years he moved on within a month. I don't think I deserved that no matter how bad the arguing was. He doesn't feeel no shame or remorse. A few months ago we were telling our families that we were getting married!! Am I going crazy or is that OK. What kind of person does that?

hjpan · Aug 25, 2008, 10:43 PM

As I usually say... he's a piece of trash~

Just find a nice wonderful guy whose going to be respecting you.

Sounds like he broke up with you just to get a new girl

Ivory0921 · Aug 26, 2008, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by lost83

i know but that is much easier said then done. my whole routine is thrown off. i used to live with him. even though he says i didnt do anything for him i actually did. and now that im not i feel so lost. it doesnt seem like he is thinking with a clear head. he said that he had made his choice not to be with me and he feels that he is getting old and so he had no time to waste so that is why he moved on so quick. i think it is just morrally wrong to do that to someone. after 7 years he moved on within a month. i dont think i deserved that no matter how bad the arguing was. he doesnt feeel no shame or remorse. a few months ago we were telling our families that we were getting married!!! am i going crazy or is that ok. what kind of person does that?

All of what you said above here sounds just like me a month ago. It seems hopeless and very painful now but force yourself to move on and live without him. Distract yourself with activities & friends. You'll be back in the game in no time - and you'll be wondering and looking back at this thinking "What was I thinking??! I am better off without this man." He surely does not deserve you or any more of your tears. Like what others told me when I was in your place a few weeks ago, just do what you do - without him and come to this site whenever you need it. You will heal and things WILL get better.