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    Peterpickle's Avatar
    Peterpickle Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 10, 2006, 03:33 AM
    Girlfriend no longer wants to be intimate
    6 months, all good, very intimate, great relationship, great friends, good love making.

    However, girlfriend has recently gone through some exams. She started to become stressed, which on the occasional time earlier, she had showed.

    The exams are over, results are good. She has a good job, lots of prospects.

    We took a break whilst the end of the exams were on. However, in the last few weeks, when we have got back together, things haven't been the same. The intimacy has been missing, last night she kissed me but it was like kissing your aunt. She stayed over but avoided the whole intimacy thing, I obviously gave her lots of space.

    We discussed things. My girlfriend has had the occasional moodswing in the past however now, she is afraid of being intimate again.

    We have discussed her past and there is something there she won't tell me about. I suggested she see a counsellor. She is going to do that.

    She suffers from occasional bouts of low self esteem, yet she's a great person! I love her. We have agreed to have a few more weeks apart and that she sees a counsellor.

    I do suspect that she has been abused or treated badly in the past, which obviously abhores me.

    I told her today that I will be here for her and that I want to be with her, but she needs to seek professional help.

    Does anyone have any further advice?
    s2tp's Avatar
    s2tp Posts: 299, Reputation: 61
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Dec 10, 2006, 04:19 AM
    You seem to be on the right track! You have been open with her and have been able to communicate. She is receptive to counceling.. so that all sounds positive.

    As long as you are able to stand by her side, things should work out OK. I hope it all works out!

    Best of Luck
    jaz-22's Avatar
    jaz-22 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Dec 11, 2006, 01:19 AM
    If your girlfriend was abused and that is effecting the intimacy, It would have been a struggle at the beginning as well. If she is not comfortable with her body and has never been experimental sex with lights off type thing she is insecure and probably feels inadequate to you say things here and there to give her a boost women love to hear there beautiful.
    cman's Avatar
    cman Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Dec 11, 2006, 07:31 AM
    It sounds like you are doing a good job. Just stick with it, and it will all turn out in the end... I agree that if there was some sort of abuse that would have affected the beginning of your relationship. Just give her time, and the support that you have been giving her. Just keep on trying.

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