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mallorym · May 8, 2009, 09:22 AM

Hi everyone,

Does this all-too-familiar saying ring true to most of you? I mean after a breakup, (and esp during NC, for example) no texting, no phone calls, no seeing them, getting rid of photos and other memories... basically "forgetting" them completely help get them out of your mind?

Opinions? Stories?

shazamataz · May 8, 2009, 09:39 AM

It can help... I got rid of any reminders of my ex...
I actually took the teddy bears he gave me that were holding hearts... cut the hearts off and let my dogs tear them up...

It helped :D

Romefalls19 · May 8, 2009, 09:46 AM

Yea it is true, just read my posts from when I first got here. The night my ex broke up with me, I took down all the pictures, every little note or card and threw them away. I don't live in the past, therefore don't need to rehash it.

Romefalls19 · May 8, 2009, 09:47 AM

Also, just to add to helping myself, I deleted every comment on my myspace she ever put

Macguyver258 · May 8, 2009, 09:49 AM

Only half true, the other half of the equation is occupying your mind with other interests/activities. Idle thoughts can't invade an active mind.

Best regards,
M

Justwantfair · May 8, 2009, 09:55 AM

It does help, but breakups are painful, there isn't a cure-all pill to get over the grief and pain.

Time is the only healer. If you want to dwell on the past then you prevent any progression forward, which is why you pitch all of the reminders.

88sunflower · May 8, 2009, 10:08 AM

I agree with the time heals all. Its rough going at first sure. But eventually the urge to call or find contact will ease and pass over. You may think of this person from time to time. You may wonder how they are doing or what direction there life took. But that's just natural thoughts you can or may have of any person that's passed through your life.

Meredith1978 · May 8, 2009, 10:13 AM

Along with "out of sight, out of mind" I found it took forever if I dwelled on what they did wrong and instead if I focused on what I could do better in the future it was easier to accept what happened as another and move on

kctiger · May 8, 2009, 10:39 AM

Everyone has their own way of dealing with a really sucky breakup. There comes a point (at least for me) where you have cried so much, tried so hard to "win" her back, and lost all dignity that you eventually wake up and say enough is enough. NC is the ONLY way to go in my opinion. I could not imagine having to see my ex on a daily basis when this first happened, and every time I contacted her it opened up another wound.

Once you tear yourself down, you realize that you can start from scratch, and be anything you want to be... you realize, too, that you don't need the ex with you to do this. It is almost gaining your sense of purpose and self value back.