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pixiepeel · May 31, 2008, 06:19 PM

Without letting a man walk all over you

How can you be the 'perfect' partner/girlfriend

Obviously nobody can be perfect, but what charateristics/actions makes a guy happy?

mrchef1110 · May 31, 2008, 06:41 PM

Be yourself. When you find the person that compliments your life you will know.

Fr_Chuck · May 31, 2008, 06:46 PM

First no two guys are alike, just like no two ladies are alike,
If you are trying to be someone you are not, the relationship will never work out, you have to be you, and he has to be him, and you have to learn to put up with a lot from each other.

Finding the right person, someone who will love you for you, is the trick and knowing when you are dating, it is not learning to change, but knowing when to decide this person is not the right one also.

ISneezeFunny · May 31, 2008, 06:48 PM

Your outlook on this is all wrong. You can never be "perfect"... nor can you be a generic "perfect girlfriend"... however, I do appreciate your desire to be a good girlfriend. As mrchef says, be yourself. You'll be a great girlfriend for someone out there.

liz28 · May 31, 2008, 07:07 PM

Your both will about together as the relationship grow. Your will have your up and downs, and that it all about. No relationship is perfect, and if anyone tell you different then their just lying. Also, there is no guarantees, it miggt last or won't. As long as their trust and communication you have a chance. You want to be yourself whether than lose yourself in a relationship.

Along the way you might do some of the things he's into that your into, but do it because you want to be part of it and he'll do the same. For example, the current guy I'm dating like basketball, I watched a game with him because that is what he watch sometimes when I around and he watched some shows that he don't normally like but watch it b/ I like it, then sometimes like it himself. I satificate because I knew he wanted to watch basketball game, but he didn't want to tell me no to watching my show, and I actually like it, there nothing wrong with that, but I don't know about baseball!

Sikativ · May 31, 2008, 07:09 PM

Perfect is overrated...

Its your imperfections that make you UNIQUE.

-Sik

liz28 · May 31, 2008, 07:16 PM

I just read your other post, if he recently cheated on you what do you still want to be his girlfriend let alone "the perfect girlfriend?"

Do u really think/belive him cheated on you is your fault? You need to rethinking your decision on being his girlfriend. Both posts were posted today.

pixiepeel · May 31, 2008, 07:18 PM

No it said in the other post he had sex with someone while we were separated
He didn't cheat
I'm only asking about being a perfect girlfriend, because I believe that I was the one who pushed him away in the first place.

mrchef1110 · May 31, 2008, 07:23 PM

Well look at it this way.

Do you want to be someone who you aren't every day for the rest of your life? Probably not and if you do put on the charade of being the perfect girlfriend. (and let me tell you it is a charade) You are not only blaming yourself for the split but trying to change yourself to please him.
Please yourself first. Be able to wake up everyday knowing that you have been true to yourself and that your partner whomever it may be can appreciate that fact. If you can't do that then you might need to re-evaluate.

liz28 · May 31, 2008, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by pixiepeel

no it said in the other post he had sex with someone while we were seperated
he didnt cheat

Sorry for the mixed up, he didnt cheat, but if your was not together than he was free to do whatever he wanted, and that included sleeping with someone else. If you decided to give the relationship a second chance then dont hold it ove his head because your was not together and who know your would get back together, he basically was a free man.

im only asking about being a perfect girlfriend, because i believe that i was the one who pushed him away in the first place.

Why did you push him away?

pixiepeel · May 31, 2008, 07:42 PM

Well its ridiculous of me to compare but being brought up in a unstable home with my dad cheating on my mum on several occasions made it hard for me to trust people, especially my boyfriend so I would be constantly on his back and would check up on him 24/7 I would know all his paswords to things etc. of corse now I know I was wrong and don't interfear at all, I was extremely jealous because of exes of his causing trouble while we were going out and he's a lot more attractive than me (lots of girls fancy him) so I guess I would take things out on him. I don't know I was a crap girlfriend however I did and still do love him more than anything. I know what I did was wrong and he put up a lot from me.. I just want to be a better girlfriend and I guess a better person too

Sikativ · May 31, 2008, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by pixiepeel

Well its ridiculous of me to compair but being brought up in a unstable home with my dad cheating on my mum on several occasions made it hard for me to trust people, especially my boyfriend so i would be constantly on his back and would check up on him 24/7 i would know all his paswords to things etc. of corse now i knwo i was wrong and dnt interfear at all, i was extremly jealous because of exes of his causing trouble while we were going out and hes alot more attractive than me (lots of girls fancy him) so i guess i would take things out on him. i dont know i was a crap girlfriend however i did and still do love him more than anything. i know what i did was wrong and he put up alot from me..i just want to be a better girlfriend and i guess a better person too

Seems like you fixed your "over the shoulder, breathing on his neck" behavior and are unsure where you are at with him right now.

Think of it this way...

You have him back now, right?
COMMUNICATE instead of being down his back. Tell him how you feel and he will do the same right back.

Take it easy and you'll be just fine...

-Sik

pixiepeel · May 31, 2008, 08:10 PM

Thanks a lot to all the answers in this post,
All you guys have fantastic answers
Constructive criticism and well you speak the honest truth
Thanks again :)

openminded · May 31, 2008, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by pixiepeel

Without letting a man walk all over you

how can you be the 'perfect' partner/girlfriend

obviously nobody can be perfect, but what charateristics/actions makes a guy happy?

Perfect means work pixiepeel, lots of effort hey. One thing in my opinion is mateship. A girl who can be a mate and help me work on the bike or help me research a hobbie is invaluable. It's easy to lose interest in a girl who leads this strange life of toenail painting and mall shopping but it's impossible to loose respect and friendship in a close mate who helps you out here and there. It doesn't have to be all the time and you don't have to even show much interest. Just being there and holding a torch into an engine bay or looking up some reviews about a purchase he is considering will do. If you want him then be an indispesable part of his life.

One other thing you may coinsider, and I know this will not sit well with some. If you have to criticize him or spell out some aspect of his behaviour do it very close to him, holding his hand. In my mind you still get the point across but you take the sting out of it and let him know you still love him. This is really for those "heavy" discussions, not the day to day stuff you know. When it's heavy we tend to pull back but that is when we should be the closest.

talaniman · Jun 1, 2008, 07:29 AM

I just want to be a better girlfriend and I guess a better person too

This should read, I just want to be a better person. And I guess a better girlfriend too.
Love yourself first, that makes you a better person, and help you be a better g/f

Forget the relationship, its not healthy because you have personal issues to deal with, as what your post reveals here.

damaged · Jun 1, 2008, 07:57 AM

I agree with talaniman I don't think you can be in a relationship... you should work on yourself..
There's no way of being perfect.. you just got to be yourself.. sometimes when I think about it I think there is such thing as your soulmate.. there is someone that no matter how ugly/pretty/mean/nice/stupid/smart you are... that person will love you no matter what...

"Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are.Good mood, bad mood, pretty, ugly, handsome..The right person is still gonna think the sun shines out of your .Thats the kind of person worth sticking with. -Juno- :D(love that movie)