I met my husband when I was 19, we got married while I was 21, now I am 25. He is older than me a lot( more than 20 years old ). I thought age is not a matter, but for the last two years I had a four crushes on guys around my age, at the moment I am still having one crush. I know these are all just physical thing, all these crushes do not really mean anything, but....

We are very close , he knows all my crushes, and he says he understands, and he does not mind me having sexual relationships with other guys as long as I am not in love with them. I tried sexual relationship with a guy once , but I do not like it that much, I know that is not what I really want.

I left my husband once for a few days , but I came back , I missed him a lot , and I hate being on my own , I never ever live on my own before....

What should I do ? Pleae???

mumtosix

I think you have a few problems here -
Firstly you have been with your husband for 6 years yet 4 of these years you have had "crushes" on other men. So only 2 years out of 6 have you ever given your marriage a full 100%.

Your husband does not mind you having sexual encounters with other men? I am sure deep down he will mind?

You left your husband but you missed him?

Is the reason that you no longer want to be with your husband but are scared to be alone or is that your husband is that scared of loosing you he is going to turn a blind eye if you see another man?

I think you need to really take a look at your marriage as you have many problems that need to be addressed.

Either you want to be with your husband and this includes being faithful ! Or not and you should leave !

TheCompromiser

Sometimes, you need to ask yourself, what do you want to do in life? It's never too late to go to school.. even vocational training. Don't be stuck at home when you're feeling like you're missing something. It doesn't sound like you and your husband have an issues with abuse, and he sounds pretty resonable. Start doing some research on some careers that interest you. Like, beauty school, cousiling, graphic design, massage therapist, accounting! everything is out there, and these programs are really short, like 8 months. This will get you out in the world, and make you independent and selfsufficient! You have to have control in you're life and a career does that best. Then, when you're on your feet you wont have to worry about being forced into staying with anyone! You'll be doning what you love, and you won't have to rely on anyone.

Gemini54

I don't know if your situation is sustainable. You got married very young, to someone that is considerably older because you don't want to be alone. He sounds like a pseudo father, not like a husband.

If you're attracted to other guys, it's because something is lacking in your marriage - it's all very well for your husband to say you can can have sex with other guys, but this won't work over the long term.

Yes, it's safe to be with him at the moment - he provides you with company and tacit approval of your crushes. But, this isn't a committed marriage and eventually you'll both be hurt.

Either make a commitment to really being with your husband, or leave. It isn't working the way you're doing it at the moment!

wylgwylg

Thanks you very much

wylgwylg

I am so glad I found this website....

wylgwylg

My husband is my best friend, we get on very well.
But we want different things. He wants travel around, I wants settle down in one place , have a family. And I have lost all the sexual attraction towards him,( we have a huge age gap) Do I love him???

mudweiser

No one could answer that for you.

How long have you two been married/together?

Have you sought counselling?

Sarah

Cat1864

This should have been added to your current thread to help keep your story straight. They probably will be merged.

As mudweiser said, only you know how you feel. We can tell you what we think love is which will be as varied as the number of posters on this site.

Let's start with what do you think love is?

wylgwylg

We have been together for six years.
no, we have not been counselling.