My husband says I should greet him when he comes home from work. Is that the proper way? If I'm occupied with the kids or with dinner or something, when he comes home he doesn't greet me or say hi to me at all and if I look up to give him eye contact he doesn't even look my way, he greets his son (my step-son). Our son together is 3 and he knows no better, he'll greet his dad immediately. What is right?
Greet him when you don't have your hands full.
I think that is one of the reasons marriages go stagnet
They start taking each other for granted.
Its walk in the door, sit down, watch TV and your lucky to get
"dinners done and a good night between the two of you....
May be far from that for you now but that is where it goes.
So great him and show him you appreciate him.
It might even be contagious
Please, by all means greet him when he comes through the door. He has spent all day at work having to deal with people who some of whom I'll bet he doesn't like. When he sees you and his loving family, he's relaxed instantly and put into a much, much better mood. Plan on greeting him by looking at the clock and knowing he's coming home at such and such time. This way he knows that he's loved and wanted by his wonderful family.
The fact he's been cool to you some days may be due to the day he's just put in at work and has nothing to do with you at all. The little guy 3 years old loves his dad and shows it daily so dad knows exactly where he stands with him!
Let me see, you should have his slippers, pipe and a cold drink ready for him, when you hear him driving up the drive way.
You should then ( already be in your good dress) sit at his side and listen to all he did during the day.
** I saw this on Father Knows Best back in the 50's I think
Have been trying for 30 years to get my wife to do it, hope you have a lot better luck
For me, I actually sort of yell at the door I am home, don't want to scare them hearing the door opening, ( I sort of like the navy thing so I ask permission to come aboard) and when I come in, I say hello to my wife, if she is no busy I go give her a kiss and then say something to my son, who may or may not come give me a hug.
Oh my! Are we in the 1950's? So what the husband had spent a long and hard day at work, what do you think this woman delt with all day? Manicures and stawberries with chocolate? HELL NO! She has a house to clean (and may I remind you that with kids the house can get 10 times as messy) a well nutritioned meal for 4 (that may also take awhile) and a resposibility of rearing two children (that can take up A LOT of time).
Do you men think we have nothing better to do but then to cater to your' every single want and need? If she is going to risk burning the food, or leaving the some sort of eletrical appliance on that one of the children could get into just to say hi, then by all means she should go for it. If she doesn't have time, she doesn't have time.
Borders, this is such a minor thing that shouldn't even be worth discussing because you will get a bunch of men who will, of course, say you have to be the first. I don't understnad what your' husband thinks but in my opnion, if you have time then greet him. If you can't then he should greet you, for being his loving wife, taking care of his children and house and making him a hot meal when he gets home.
Our house rule is simple. Whomever comes in greets the one that is already there. If I am home and my girlfriend gets home after me. She comes to me and kisses and greets me. If she is home when I get home, I kiss and greet her.
Borders, this is such a minor thing that shouldn't even be worth discussing because you will get a bunch of men who will, of course, say you have to be the first.
.....and single old ladies that wish they had a good guy to pamper and get pampered back ---(with chocolate covered strawberries ummm) maybe if she hugged him at the door he just might stop for them berries on the way home from work someday
I think that you should compromise and greet one another. If you are busy and can't greet him then he needs to respect that you also have a 'job' maintaining the household. I don't think that you should drop everything and go and help him and I don't think that many other people will think that either.
I can see June Cleaver in her smart, fashionable shirt-dress, wearing medium heels, with her famous string of pearls just waiting for Ward to come home. June did not do anything all day except cook and clean, monitor Wally and the Beav, put up with Wally's smart aleck friend, Eddie (and the rest), and all the nonsense the Beav would come up with. She should have been paid!
Honestly, in this world, that does not happen much anymore. When your husband comes home and your hands are full, common sense would say that he should understand. Of course, you could come running with your hands messy from breading chicken or making biscuits or wiping a todder's behind. That is crazy, you'd say. To me it is just as crazy as the caveman coming home to the cavewife, expecting the world to stop because he walked in the door.
It is about mutual respect and understanding that each carries their day to the other and each deserves to be acknowledged.
If I am home and my wife comes through the door there is usually a brief "hello", maybe a peck. She needs ten or twenty minutes to decompress, change clothes, etc...
Then, when we can actually engage, I always crave a meaningful "girlfriend" kiss (meaning a kiss that you'd give when dating, not when under the stress of a family life).
Let me say this about the idea of the 50's concept.
If this guy wants her to greet him, sure... It can be insensitive to what she is working though, and that's not ok. Its not all about him.
That said... I think he should get some props for desiring her affection... Lets call him a tactless guy who has affection for his mate?
There was a time when my wife hated when I rushed out the door in the mornings without kissing her if she had a later start and was sleeping "in"... She expected me to wake her for the kiss. Now the roles are switched... Her starts are often earlier than mine and she can leave without a kiss if I am passed out.
I think that has more to do with where she is mentally. She has loads of stuff to do, and she's willing to let me stay passed out as long as I can.
This guy is probably thinking about his wife, especially later in the day. Again, I think he's a little selffish for wanting her to drop everything in a breath. I think she also should be glad that he still craves her attention.
I think about the post here last month of the couple married less than a year and the guy doesn't hardly speak to her, changes his clothes, and shuts himself in the bedroom while he scrolls through porn.
So maybe he isn't the worst out there.
But maybe once in a while he should surprise her with arranged babysitting, flowers, and dinner out on a moments whim?
So he isn't the devil. He's not a saint. He's another dumb guy who seems to like his wife's affection and is too tactless to suck it up sometimes. Welcome to the man club.
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