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my husband says I should greet him when he comes home from work. Is that the proper way? If I'm occupied with the kids or with dinner or something, when he comes home he doesn't greet me or say hi to me at all and if I look up to give him eye contact he doesn't even look my way, he greets his son (my step-son). Our son together is 3 and he knows no better, he'll greet his dad immediately. What is right?
I went through the stages of shock on this one....
The "WHAT??? Are we stuck in the Donna Reed Show??" (as did others, I see)
The "Aww...that's sweet that he wants her to show him some lovin'"
The "Wow... drop everything and run to the door?? Sheesh..."
Now I'm at "If you get home first, kiss him. If he gets home first, he kisses you."
I think that's your best bet. You are not always going to be kissable - bleachy hands, etc - and he's not always going to smell too nice when he comes in. Give and take.. that's what a relationship is!
Don't take advantage of each other... appreciate each other... don't compare yourself/him with the way his son responds to him... don't let HIM compare YOU to the way a child responds to Daddy coming home... Kiss him as much as possible! (oh, and expect the same in return! )
Does it really matter who initiates the greeting?????
I may be alone in this thought, but it seems to me the idea is for there to be an acknowledgment of each other with less emphasis on who initiates the act of greeting first.
I don't care if my wife beats me to the punch, nor does she care if I beat here to the punch....... we are just thankful to have each other to come home to in the first place.
I personally noticed a significant improvement in my relationship with my wife the second stopped squabbling over ideological concepts and learned just to seize the moment.
Does it really matter who initiates the greeting?????
I may be alone in this thought, but it seems to me the idea is for there to be an acknowledgment of each other with less emphasis on who initiates the act of greeting first.
I don't care if my wife beats me to the punch, nor does she care if I beat here to the punch....... we are just thankful to have each other to come home to in the first place.
I personally noticed a significant improvement in my relationship with my wife the second stopped squabbling over ideological concepts and learned just to seize the moment.
very true especially about the squabbling over who does what and just go for it.
but it doesn't appear like he is willing to initiate until she does so that is why I was saying I think she should....at least until he warms up to she greets me, her hands are full this time so I'll give her the first hug. Then maybe it can be mutual give and take.
NOhelp4u I do agree with what you’re saying, I really do. I think the problem that many individuals run into in a relationships is the "expectation" of something. This is not to say that we shouldn't have them, God knows they are appropriate and very necessary.
Personally, I think the lines often get blurred between reasonable expectations and just simply nit picking our partner to death in an attempt to remold them into something that fits our ideological concepts. We often don't realize that we are even doing this and ultimately become so fixated on that particular expectation that forget what is most important.
i had about five or six posts pulled up and scanned through the OP and apparently i was too lazy to get the whole picture.
on second reading, i am a freakin idiot!
all i said was true, IF the guy actually seemed to not be an arse and he just wanted her to pay some attention... but the not making eye contact and crap... ??!!?!?!?!
ok...
say it out loud... "kp you lazy moron, you didnt read slowly enough for your tired, listless brain cell (there might be only one) to comprehend the original post"... amen. and good night. God bless.
on second read, your husband seems to be a manipulating child who needs his arse wiped with only the right kind of toilet paper or else you are being rude.
uh...
yeah.
i think its reasonable to want your spouse to want to come to you when you come home. i desire my wife's presence immediately, though im not going to play head games to get it. i just want her next to me now or sooner.
but in no way am i going to act like the jerk he is being.
i am sorry i didnt really comprehend the OP. apparently multiple sentences in a row confuse me.
I do agree with kp2171 & NOhelp4u because there are ligidiment circumstances for problems in ones life, relationships, etc., that are a direct result of another human being, event, etc.
However, I do prefer to operate on the following principles for fear of joining what I believe has become a "BLAME Society":
I think the more lovey she is to him the more he will warm up to being lovey to her
--hmmm now we are up to the Howe's (Gilligan's Island)
but he is looking for her to initiate it for some reason or another.
Better than your spouse wanting you to always start 'the arguement' --I've seen a lot of that!
Hey, this is not the 1950's anymore and June Cleaver is gone. And so is Lucy Ricardo for that matter.
I did not feel that hubby was asking too much and he is not an arse either for asking for this acknowledgement.
She may stay home and take care of the house all day (which is work in itself) BUT she does not have to put up with the commute (however long that is), the rude and obnoxious people at work he has to deal with and is the essential bread winner of the family. How about we show the gentleman some respect here. Is is too much to ask? Not in my book it isn't. He deserves it as he has earned it. But then I'm from the old school anyhow so what do I know.
This whole thread, even the original post, is beside the point, in my opinion. My wife and I are about to celebrate our 25th anniversary. Whether she's home first or me, whether I've been home all day or she has, when we see each other after hours and hours apart...
...we greet each other. Heartily. Sometimes mushy, always energetically.
)
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