I have been married for almost 7 years. I have known my husband for 15 years. Our marriage was never great. For 99% of our marriage we both had a serious smoking pot problem. He was worse than me, but I will take responsibility. I begged and begged for him to quit for many years. For him it was everyday all day long, first thing in the morning last thing at night and the most important thing to him. For me it was after work and on the weekends.
About a year ago I was finally able to quit completely while he continued to smoke. As I said before our marriage was never really great and I left numerous times, mostly just for a long weekend at a friends house. He would always beg and promise and I would always go back.
6 months ago I left and got my own apartment. When I left I thought it was over. I was done, I had enough. Another side note, I cheated on him numerous times in our marriage. (why? attention that he could not give me)(when he was stoned he stared at the wall and he was always stoned)
So I left and got my own apartment. He has relentlessly tried to get me back the whole time. Begging and pleading and promising. This time it is a little different. He quit smoking pot about 3 months ago. He is wiling to move, and change, and try to do anything to get me back and make me happy.
I think it is too late, but I am not sure.
Should I go back?
Do I owe it to him to try?

Short Version
Married 7 years - not the greatest.
Constant Pot Smoking
He was controlling, and made me feel guilty for doing things without him.
He has a horrible temper.
He never hit me but he scared me.
Converation skills are not the great for us.
We cannot have a productive conversation about us or our problems.
He gets mad and defensive.
I have cheated numerous times. (looking for attention I did not get at home)
Sex was minimal.
Kissing was minimal.

So I left numerous times but this time for 6 months.
Got my own apartment, leading my own life and having a hard time filing for divorce.
I feel bad for him
He is trying so hard to get me back.
He has quit smoking pot.
He is trying to be more romantic and loving and everything I asked for all along.

If he wasn't trying so hard, It would already be over.
We have a love of the outdoors in common.
I do love him.
I do not have romantic feelings for him anymore.

I have been seeing someone else.

Should I give my marriage another chance.
He is relentlessly pursuing me.
and I am going nuts trying to decide what to do about him.

mr.yet

You owe it to yourself to be happy in your life, not what he wants.

ask yourself this:
Can I trust him?
Will this make me happy?
Will there always be in the back of your mind he cheated on you?

You must decide what is best for you.

kornm02

I cheated on him, he has never cheated on me.

startover22

Leave him, gosh he probably smokes pot to stay calm through all the "numerous" times you have cheated. I say leave and let it all go, find someone that you can actually love and love you back.....

Rory

I thik you should let it go, first thing is that you say your marraige was never that good in the first place, that tells me you never really loved him, or he didnt love you, second is that now your both off the pot, you'll probly find your different people, and wont really get on unless your stoned, trust me, i've been there, and last of all is, if you cheated on him a few times why you were together, whats the point in being together again? you couldn't have been getting what you want so you looked else where.
just be strong and end it, its hard and im really sorry for you both, but your both better off apart. good luck.