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Should I begin this affair with soul mate. We are married with children
I have not had an affair yet and have a soul mate that I did not marry when I was in college. We began dating in 1992 through 1994 then he went into the marine corp. We saw each other on and off until I became married. A year before my wedding I tried to contact him but could not get a hold of him. I married and moved away. Now we are both married with small children. He found me through Classmates.com and we reconnected (its been 10 yrs). I still love my husband (but would consider leaving due to many years of verbal abuse that I'm currently healing from) and my soulmate loves his wife, but we have expressed our love for each other through email and phone. We are in separate states now. We are very confused and conflicted and we mutually love each other. After reading a brief story in a message dated 11/26 by someone on this message board, I've come to realize I should let this go because.. after all, infidelity is wrong to begin and I should just pray for what is supposed to be. If we should divorce our spouses on our own in the future, I guess then we may be able to get together. If not, I was thinking, then it wasnt in our destinies. This is heart wrenching for me because I am 34 yrs old and we've talked about conceiving a child together although we have our own children. If we wait for the future then we will not be able to have our own child. I am willing to wait about 5 yrs until the baby factory is closed, I currently have two children. I still have family in the state where he lives and I will be going to a family reunion in June. We want to see each other but I know if we have sex it will be a mess, because we are in love and we are not ready to leave our spouses. Do you think we can meet each other when I visit just to see him and not have sex. I can bring my boys with me just to keep me in check. He wants to meet them anyway.., and then come home and live my regular life, and pray for the happiness of all including our intact marriages? Any advice? I'm also going to try to PM the person who left his soulmate alone and then ended up marrying her years later. Thank you for any advice. I know I have a family but I just don't want to be past childbearing years and then later on old, and regret the life I led.
Thank you,
thiemori
If you are in an unhappy marriage, i would break it off before you start dating again.... If this soul mate of yours is happy to cheat on his wife with you, what makes you think he wont cheat on you?
I had to think about your question for a while. Frankly, I'm blown away that you would ask such a thing. I mean, if you're gonna do it, then do it, but don't look to us for approval.
So, your situation is that you've made lifelong commitments to some people, but you've changed your mind. It doesn't matter to you, that the commitments you made DON’T have escape clauses. So, you make your own, unilaterally, without telling ANY of the other people involved.
You're about to ruin a lot of people's lives, and you actually wonder if anyone thinks that's cool. Hmmmm.
What I dont want to do, is ruin my own life...and if I got some advice from someone whose been there done that, it would help guide me in the right direction. People have gotten divorces before, and I'm learning about this now as I think of possibilities.
Well my advice is think intensivily before you jump to any conclusion. Also it is wise that you dont cheat on your husband until you take your matter further.
You need to talk to your husband. End of story. If you love your husband, it is only fair that he know what is going on in your mind.
The long and short of it is that you made a promise to your husband, and your ex made a promise to his wife. Breaking promises (especially vows taken before your god!) will destroy your self respect, your honor, and make it hard to build any happiness with each other.
You need to NOT think about your ex right now. You need to determine what it is you actually want. Whether you love your ex or not...you also love your husband and children. By sleeping with this man, you would doing something that would lose the respect of all of them.
Take my advice and cool down things with your ex, and work on what's NOT working in your marriage. If your marriage is that intolerable, then you need to end it BEFORE you make commitments to someone else.
You misunderstand. I have no problem with you finding your true love. If you've made a mistake, then you have, and that's so. Ok, the world isn't going to come to an end.
My advice is to END your current relationship before you start another. That's all. Real simple. Clean and no lies!
girl, I wouldn't even do it. Temptation is crazy but you have a family now. If it was really meant to be than it would have went down already. Having sex and social time is only going to make things Very confusing and you may even get hurt in the long run.
Thanks for your answers. I think you all are right. I really do know I'm going down a messy road if I do go through with seeing this man. I'm going to try to talk to my husband and I have a lot of thinking to do about my future if we are going to split. I also do know I may be alone for a while if we split, and I may not end up with my soul mate. I have been trying to work at my marriage, and I want to try everything before I end it. I really don't want to be an unfaithful wife. Thanks again for your answers.
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