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    zombie's Avatar
    zombie Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 12, 2006, 04:41 AM
    Right step
    Just like my Id my life is playing a part with me. I am 26 year old man at point 1 ( country ) who had been in long distance arrange marriage with G1 at point 2 ( country ) since last 2 years ( though we never slept with each other ) and we both are muslim as religious background. In 2 years we have a lot lack of communication with G1 as its vital part but I am confident about G1 decication towards a life spoken relationship with me and doesn't have anything to do with any other man. Now if talk about me, since last one year I'm in relationship with G2 point 3 ( country ) over internet with who I had spent quality time over phone and internet and emotionally attached with me. She is christian as religious background which doesn't matters to me. She wish no one but me and want to spend her life time with me.

    Now I am confused at point of emotions who I should go for?

    One hand with G1 who is spoken and arranged by family and looking ahead for future with me but no strings of heart/emotions attached with me yet as she believe better to bring in after start a life together as precautious measure to avoid misunderstandings that commonly occurs.

    Other hand with G2 who I am attached emotionally as we started as good friends with long long conversations and sharing common aspects and then felt a special feelings for each other. Who she believes spiritually to be with me by god's wish eventhought she is aware of I am already with my arrange marriage as well.

    Point to be noted, I never meet G2 physically as We never came up to point of future of relationship.

    I know my friends looks complicated to answer by I will appriciate if you can help this man out of this zombie of confusion and take a right step ahead.

    Thank you all.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
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    #2

    Jun 12, 2006, 04:58 AM
    Hi,
    Thank you for asking a question here, and Welcome to the site. I am sure you will get many good answers.
    I am from the United States, in VA, so speak as an American, not that familiar with your culture.
    If it has been arranged with your family to marry a girl, then that is part of your issue, as you said. If the girl you have never met, has come to like you very much, and you like her, then as you said, that's the other issue, along with being a Christian.
    Tough decision!
    However, personally, I would go with your heart. I don't know what implications would come about by going against your family. That has to be considered. But, your heart is in another place.
    It would all come down to "just how much do you want to please your family", or, "just how much do you want to please yourself".
    It's a tough decision, and I do wish you the best. Remember, if you marry, I do hope it will be for a long, long time. Marrying someone you don't really love isn't going to be very good, because you will always be thinking about the girl you do love.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #3

    Jun 12, 2006, 04:58 AM
    Dear zombie. There is no guarantee in life and certainly not on the internet. Unless you take time in the near future, to get to know one or both face to face, your guess is as good as mine.

    You will have to let your feelings guide you in this one as best as you can.

    I wish you well in your choice, and please keep us posted.

    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jun 12, 2006, 05:33 AM
    I can't understand arranged marriages, I really don't!

    If you have the right to chose not to marry G1, than chose what your heart and head tell you.
    Thing is if you marry G1 your mind will be elsewhere (i.e G2) and will you stay in touch with G2 behind your furture wife's back?

    Think it through!
    zombie's Avatar
    zombie Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jun 12, 2006, 07:09 PM
    Thank you Fredg, Chery and Krs.

    Its tough decision as you know Fredg and Chery, Choosing between parent's wish and own sounds difficult as nature of doubt comes up as Chery said about no guarantee certainly on internet. I believe will give some more time to explore more into aspects, Also as G2 said, We are one to be God's Wish as in fate and destiny then Time will show me way to G2 at any point.

    Do you think this will be better for me for self satisfaction over long future of relationship which doesn't come and go rather stays permanent with me.

    Thank you all again.
    Northwind_Dagas's Avatar
    Northwind_Dagas Posts: 348, Reputation: 83
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Jun 12, 2006, 07:32 PM
    I'm curious. Does G1 know about G2 or vice versa?
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Jun 13, 2006, 12:10 AM
    I think your heart is set more on G2.
    As mush as this will sound selfish to you, due to your religion and beliefs if you can I would go for G2, not that I want to make decissions for you but your heart is set there not for G1.
    Make yourself happy not your parents, you are marrying not your parents, its your whole life ahead of you with this person not your parents!

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