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me and my boyfriend have been together for over 8 months and i would love to marry him. but anytime i bring it up he literally isnt listening or just shrugs it off like he wasnt listening, i know he loves me, that i am sure of, but does he see this as just a relationship, one that doesnt have a future? He has told me he wants to marry me but talking about it hasnt been working for me. what are some ways i can show him i am serious about wanting to spend the rest of my life with him?
I think he knows your serious about wanting to get married, it just sounds like he doesnt want to and is hoping you stop bringing it up.
Give it some more time though, 8 months is a bit soon to be planning dates, but if he doesnt ever have a serious talk about it you might want to consider that maybe this relationship wont get to this level.
I noticed your other posting about your bf as well as this one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IceSeraph14
i starting living with my boyfriend about 4 months ago and his entire personality changed. he never used to get angry over stupid stuff, but now the slightest stuff will set him off and i feel like i am tip toeing around him out of fear that he will get mad, he gets angry over accidents, if i hug or kiss him when he doesnt want it, small stuff. the other day i was putting on my coat and i didnt know he was standing behind me and i accidently hit him, i immediately went to him and wrapped my arms around him and said i was sorry a number of times and he pushed me away and told me not to touch him, but then the moment someone says something funny, he is back to being the same old cheerful smiling man i love. could he be bipolar?
First off, I don't think the guy is bipolar. There seems to be some issues here between the two of you and you need to clear them up. You have been together as a couple for 8 months, living together 4 months. That really isn't as long a time as you think it might be. Is it possible that he isn't as affectionate or as demonstrative as you are? Is it at all possible that you are putting too much pressure on him about marriage and he may feel that you are pushing him too hard? You need to really sit down and give some serious thought as to why he appears to be so angry and touchy all the time. If you can't come up with any reasonable answers on your own, then you need to have a serious sit down with him. Ask him why he appears upset all the time. Ask him if your being affectionate makes him uncomfortable or feel suffocated. Find out what you can do to make him more comfortable. If I was in your position, I wouldn't be pushing the subject of marriage until I knew what is prompting his behavior. Just remember that the guy has stated that he wants to marry you. Maybe you just need to back off and leave the marriage idea alone until he proposes. Most people don't like to feel pressured into doing something. Your bf may want to be able to be the one to make the decision to propose or to create a romantic surprise for you. Right now, you aren't allowing him to do that. Please don't force him or push him.
Speaking just as a married guy of 42 years, who by the way still is fascinated by his wife.
Before my wife and I married, during the mid 60s I made many attempts on her feminine wares. The ONLY success I ever scored was that I kept my hands on the end of my arms where they belonged. Her response was always the same, Do you see your wedding band on this finger? If not be prepared to bleed to death if you try that again.
That's my lady! Then and now. Principled, and knowing what she will allow and what she will not. Couple that with her not being afraid to let me know where she stands and a steel I beam for a backbone make her very formidable at times.
We were 18 when we married almost 43 years ago. We had our first child when we were 22.
To date, I can honestly say that I have never met a woman who fascinates more than she does, no do I waste my time looking for another. I'm just fine where I am!
Also, if I may, when we were 18, love was not the same as it is now. Speaking just for me, love meant sex. Marriage meant obligatory sex. Actually now a days Love means love to me.
You are so pushy, and I can see why he is short tempered. Living together in 4 months?? Two strangers, who can't know each other playing house, and your push for marriage after 8 months is way to much, to soon and in my opinion, unrealistic. Back off ,and see what your getting into, and relax and have fun getting to know each other. Whats the hurry anyway??? I don't understand, and obviously he doesn't either.
I just have a quick question...do you actually want to marry this man - or is it the idea of marriage that you are in love with?
i do want to marry him, i have been in love 2 times before and they didnt make he feel half as good as he does, you have to understand, i got pretty messed up because of the other guys ive dated and he has made everything better, he is the only person i trust with my life, it has nothing to do the "marriage", it has to do with that i am in love with him more then you could ever possibly comprehend and i want to spend the rest of my life with him.
well maybe he is ready and afraid to say? his dad left him and his mom before he was born and then at 10 his mother drowned, i think that could have a lot to do with it. there are a lot of factors here. and i would never like "force" him to marry me, trust me he would leave before that happen if i forced him. its not that i want to get married NOW but i would like to know more often that there is a future or at least talk about it.
well maybe he is ready and afraid to say? his dad left him and his mom before he was born and then at 10 his mother drowned, i think that could have a lot to do with it. there are a lot of factors here. and i would never like "force" him to marry me, trust me he would leave before that happen if i forced him. its not that i want to get married NOW but i would like to know more often that there is a future or at least talk about it.
Wow, I'm a guy and I'm impressed. Why would you want all the attendendant problems he is carrying on his back and into your world? Don't you have enough of your own nightmares?
I can't be bothered when my lady starts a sentence by telling how something looks so nice. I immediately invoke my 5% hearing lose, my concentration goes to 150% on getting the toilet roll back on the spool. I'm three pages into the next program that I'm writing that will forever resolve the economic pressures on the world.
In short, I'm already not there. Bon used and analogy on me once. She's calling and I've hung up before the call even came in.
It's when the 2X4 whacks me over the head or I feel the steel like talons on my neck as they pass through my artery that I actually start to figure out its time to listen up.
I'm a guy. I live in my own world, you want me in yours, invite me in I'll see if I want to stay.
My wife needs something, she asks me. If I get to the point where she's telling I'm already doomed.
I know youve been with dreamboat for 8 months and I do not mean to belittle you or your relationship but it took Bon and I almost 4 years to grow up when we got married.
You know what I learned then. I learned that she had a mind of her own, she functioned before me and she could function without me. I chose her just as she chose me. I immediately question her judgement on that one.
If the first thing your guy sees in the morning is marriage staring back at him and the last thing at night is the same thing you are killing yourself. Be you, you got his attention before do it again. Let him see in you why he would want to be married. I saw it and never regretted it.
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