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Home > Family & People > Marriage   »   questioning my ability to hang on

 
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Old Jan 29, 2009, 02:28 PM
icandosomuch
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questioning my ability to hang on

Im probably just venting, but the fact remains, i feel as though i do everything in and around this house. Im currently, and always have been, working 40 plus hours a week. My wife is also a work-a-holic. We have two young children to care for, not to mention daycare expenses.

From describing my list of constant things to maintain and do from day to day on top of my work schedule, i feel as though she doesnt help in the least! she is too busy reading a friggen book, talking on facebook/phone with work, work work work work, or traveling for work.

I have literally taken over the bill paying, the dishes, laundry; all of which is on top of taking care of the yard, snow removal, car maintenance, house maintenance, everything......

The funny part about the end of the day is, she would like engage in relations. Most of the time i do, i mean why not, but sometimes, i just dont really want to, why give her the satisfaction when she doesnt lift a finger.

when she is away traveling for work, i actually love it. You see, when she leaves, i will pick up the house, ONCE! and it remains clean. the kids respect it and pick up after themselves. I feel like i dont have to follow her around the house to see the mess she left behind.

Just last night, she made a cake with the kids and it was a fun time, HOWEVER, she left this morning and im left with a huge sink full of dishes, the dishwasher is full, naturally because i didnt empty it, and hard cake frosting all over the cabinets and countertops. it took me two hours to clean up.

i then go downstairs to start laundry. There must be 12-15 loads that must be done. i tried to start the laundry but i nearly gagged at the smell of the catbox. she wanted the cats, i didnt. now im cleaning out the smelly box.she must have cleaned it last week because the left the dirty cat litter in the bag right next to the box. how hard could it possibly be to bring the old litter to the trash can outside. ridiculous!

she has done the laundry once and a while, but folding is a different story. she will pile on a chais lounge chair in our room and outside the kids rooms, why did we bother buying that expensive bedroom set with plenty of drawers not to mention the walk in closet?

i cant even get her to replace the toilet paper, however, if she does replace it, its not on the roll or if it makes on the roll, the left over paper is put on the floor. the trash can is right there in the same room!!!!!

it would be great if she could pick up a mob and wipe up things that spill on the floor before they need to be hard scrubbed off the tile. Or perhaps, turning on the vacuum cleaner, IVE NEVER seen her vacuum at all. id be surprised if she could turn the thing on.

I have already hired a cleaning lady to come to the house once per week, this is seriously all i want is one day because of the cost.

Frankly, im thinking i love my wife but i dont want to live with her. its like having another child or person to pick up after. When i ask her why isnt this done, did you do this, that, etc..... she sais she didnt notice or she forgot. All i can say is, your remember to wipe your butt after to go to the bathroom, how hard is it to clean up the dishes (i mean cant you smell it) what about the catbox (the litter is all over the place)

i really dont know how much longer i can stand it. my duties have been increasing and increasing constantly which causes me heavy irritation and frustration. i resent her. she is gone now traveling and im happy. when she gets back, i already know she is going to bring in her luggage, leave half of her crap and papers all over the counter top.

the only way anything gets done is when i do it. you know what, im tired of talking to her about it on a daily basis as it only leads to fights, in which, im still left doing all the work.


why do i bother staying? i need her paycheck thats why. she wanted this big extravagant house, but is just lazy and neglectful when it comes to keeping it clean and maintained.

i dont even know if any of the above is a question, its just a series of days that seem endless and continuing from one to the other.

i guess i should be grateful she makes dinner, yay. but the mess behind her, holy hell.....

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Old Jan 29, 2009, 02:41 PM   #2  
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Sounds like about 90% of the households in America! Except it is usually the wife doing the complaining. I would suggest that you need to get your priorities in order. What is more important in your lives, Your jobs or your children? If you cannot work this out like two consenting adults, maybe it is time to seek some professional help.
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