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i have a question, my husband lovesss his porn, he works 10 hours a day then he comes home eats dinner barely talks to me then heads back to the computer room for 3 HOURS.... then i found that he is going onto these sex dating sights, should i be worried?? or is this just another way for him to get off. the thing that really bothers me is that i seen his page on this dating sight, and it says that he is seperated and that he is looking for a bad good for some good times. AND he user name is hornysailorman. i mean come on.... you see my user name i mean damn that is my user name for everthing.
a little info about us, we got married April 5 2007, im 21 he is 23, im alittle over 300lbs and he is like 220. he is 6'3 and im 5'10. we met online on eharmaney around march2005.
i am worried that it is my wight, and that he married me because he loves me for the girl that is inside, and that is grate but im worried that he does not find me sexy anymore.
some of my friends say that i should talk to him............ well i have, more times then i can count. i have told him how it hurts me and how it makes me sick. but he still does it. we cant go to conseling because we dont make that kinda money. the thing is i am the one talking, he just sitts there just looking at he tv. saying that maybe if i picked up the house alittle more then he might want to hang out in the living room more.
this it is spotless when he gets home, but when he gets home he is the one that makes it into a pig stiy. it is like being married to a 3 year old.
Sounds like he has an addiction, and he needs help for that. He's already left the relationship emotionally, in my opinion. And with that profile on the dating site, it might even be MORE than emotionally.
My husband and I don't believe that porn is necessary in a marriage, so if I were to find him spending that much time on a computer, hidden away from me, with a dating profile, I would consider that a form of cheating. I would confront him about it, and I would find SOME sort of counseling for us as soon as possible.
For some reason or other, I don't recommend confrontations, but I do recommend you getting help from a relationship/marriage counselor, whether from a school or church or county services. You want someone who is competent in the field as well.
You have a very serious problem. It's not that your husband likes porn, it's that he is only having sexual gratification with porn. He fell in love with you the way you are, but men are usually ( I am not saying ALL men so don't jump me) very visual creatures. Put on something sexy? Ask him if you can watch him, or be with him while he is watching porn, and maybe sexually please him? Just a suggestion, it may or may not work for you. Communication is the biggest missing factor here, you are both young, and maybe afraid to verbally discuss certain subjects. I wish you ALL the luck, but it's time to speak to him!
he and i talk alitttle. we do it at night when we are in bed and that way i feel at eas. we have talked the other night he says that he loves me more then anything, and that he things that in still sexy, whe he gets home he wants to do so many things that he cant do. like spend time with me, email his buddys, and watch tv. but he cant because of the hours that he is pulling, and a few things have to suffer. and he doesnt mean to hurt me but he thought i wound understand. and i told him again that what he has been doing hurts.
i asked him what happened to the man that i married, we spent alot of time together, watching tv together, going on car rides, going out to dinner, (witch was nurmaly fastfood but we were together), and that back then you tuched me. i told him that he does not even tuck me anymore, besides when he leaves to go to work, he gives me a peck on the cheak. all he could say was sorry, and that he didnt realies what he was doing to me and that he is realy sorry. he said that he loved me, i said love you too and we when to bed.
Personally, and I do mean personally Porn is worse than wrong.
It portrays women as nothing more that lusting babes that will do anything just to get a male to penetrate themselves in any one opening large enough to accommodate the size of the telephone pole of a penis. Not to mention, that for the next 20 minutes or so, this guy and gal will go at it solid and absolutely no ejaculation from the male for hours or as long as it takes to get the scene shot.
Ladies, when was the last time you went to the store or pulled into your driveway in absolute heat, get inside, get naked find your husband in bed with two other women and decided, what the devil, I'm joining in.
Yet when you watch this trash, that's what you see and condition yourself to.
Personally, I would much rather have my way with my lady, if I can get healthy enough again, in real time in real life. Its no fun for me to want to touch a TV screen when I can hold and make love to a real air breathing lady.
Sorry to disagree. Porn is not set up for anything nobler than making money from people who shy away from real relationships. There is no moral or immoral reason other then to make money.
Actress's are a dime a dozen lined up to do this for a reason that is unfathomable to me.
Please, I understand. I dont like to see women degraded even if they want to be. But what is the point of showing porn on a TV or Screen that cannot be felt and touuched like a realperson.
The point is that some people are visually stimulated.
I humbly submit that most people who watch porn are aware that they they're watching a make-believe movie, and can tell the difference between a movie and real life.
I mean, people who like Bruce Willis movies don't go out and blow stuff up to save their city every couple months, do they?
And really--why is it always the WOMEN who are considered to be degraded in porn? Heck, the women are the ones that end up with marketing lines in sex toys! They make money even when they're NOT performing! Name one MAN that has done that! And really--when was the last time a MAN was treated realistically in porn, either?
If you don't like porn, and it does nothign for you--GREAT! Don't watch it! I don't watch action movies for the same reason--I can't suspend disbelief long enough to enjoy the movie. But--like EVERYTHING else in life--porn is fine in moderation. I can't say it does much for me, personally, but it's a nice tool that the hubby and I use together. We've ALSO used "The Joy of Sex" books, romance coupons, naughty dice, handcuffs, blindfolds, sex toys, and erotic literature to spice things up---are all of THOSE things bad too?!
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