I found out my husband is chatting sexually with a client of ours but he denies it. I have tried to talk to him about it but because he does not think I have proof he tells me it is all in my head. We have been together for 3 years, married just 6 months.

In one of the conversations he said 'its not like i have every seen her picture, talked to her on the phone or chat with her while i am at work. I don't even know where she lives.' Well I found pictures of her on our computer and i found a copy of a chat that occurred while he was at work and of course we have her address because she is client. which of course now makes me wonder if they are chatting at work on the phone as well.
(phone records are not accessible).

Because he denies everything, I don't know what to do. I am so scared that this is going to turn into a physical affair, although she lives several hours away.

He calls the chat casual when i first brought it up. But I have seen otherwise, which I don't think he realizes.

She refers to him as 'Babe' which really bothers me and i asked him to ask her not to do that but he said that would be rude to tell a client. I disagreed but lost the battle. Now all communication between them is a secret and I am in the dark.

I love my husband with all my heart and can never leave him. I don't know how to cope with this though.

spea94

i am sooooo sorry!

have you talked to her? does she know he is married?

never a easy situation.

good luck!

virgolovesscorpio

No, I don't believe she knows he is married and no I have not talked to her. I have been contemplating the idea of sending her some sort of memo from our company with my name on it so that she puts two and two together. But I have a feeling that the minute i do that she will say something to my husband and it will set off a fight.

I guess I should not worry about a fight huh??

I also thought of sending her a girl to girl email, but i don't know how that would go over. From what i have seen in the one IM i have, she really doesn't take other peoples feelings into consideration.

Thanks for the response.

robertsqueen

What he is doing is wrong. He is talking to another woman sexually while he is with you. That is considered cheating. There is a reason that she calls him babe. I don't call anyone I work with babe...except my husband. Somthign is going on. and he isn't going to tell you the truth. You need to ask her.

spea94

well, you have a tough one!
do you have any kids?
The memo with your name on it sounds good. and if it does start a fight thats fine... you did nothing wrong!
not sure of the work you are doing or your husband but i do know some women are all talk and will do what ever they can to get what they want!!!!

talk to your husband... tell him EVERYTHING YOUR FEELING. he should stop talking so much to her... he married you!

I hope things work out!

i had kinda the same thing, but it was inperson. she was the receptionist... and she knew he was married, he loved the attention and now i am divorced. ( it wasnt just her there was more there)

virgolovesscorpio

How do you think I should approach it? I was thinking a girl to girl email, or should i just send a thanks for you business note card with my signature.

spea94

i would just nip it in the butt!

just tell talk to her... its gonna be hard...

you could just send the thank you with you name MRS.... really big and then see what happends...

virgolovesscorpio

Yes we do, and one on the way.
I feel like i did something wrong because I snooped to find the IM i have.
I agree.. i will send out a company note card thanking her for her business.

I have told him about my feelings but he tells me that he can't do anything about them and he doesn't know how to help.

I am sorry about your situation. I also believe it is the attention and the nasty talk.

phillysteakandcheese

Your husband has breeched your trust in him.

You need to tell him that. If he is not sensitive to what you are telling him, you really do need to reconsider your stance on "...can never leave him". By continuing this behaviour he is showing no regard for your feelings, and his "abuse" of your feelings will continue if you allow it.

Flirting is one thing, but I view sexually explicit talk as a form of cheating. Confront him with the evidence if you have to, but demand better from him!

virgolovesscorpio

I understand you comment.

I truely mean I couldn't leave him... this may be sick rationalization but I just won't.
Even with the issue at hand... i love my husband with all my heart. I am hoping that love will make things right.

I suppose that sounds like a romance novel... but I took my vow of 'for better or worse' seriously. I just hope and pray that the worse will be over quickly and the better and better will be coming soon.