Howdy,

I have been married less than a 2 years ago and things haven't been going well in terms of us getting along. I felt she was getting more and more distant. One morning I felt the need to check her cell phone while she was in the shower and to my amazement she has been texting her ex-boyfriend sexual things along with her saying how much she missed him. My heart dropped and confronted her. I forgave her if she promised to cut all ties with him. I am a very forgiving person.

As time went on things did not get better as we still seemed to argue about everything, she decided to move out with her friend Jenny (who I trust) as a trial of separation a few cities away.

I was left home, very upset , lonely and wasn't sure what to think. Well one night after heavy drinking I met someone out and (not a stranger- someone I have known for quit sometime) later that night we had a one night stand. To me, maybe I was filling voids of feeling loved and wanted (still no excuse). I have no feelings for this person and don't want to be in contact with her.

The next day we both deeply regretted our actions (we are both std free) and I know I won't be able to forgive myself. Weeks later me and my wife have been slowly talking and seeing each other. We have been making love here and there and things seem to be looking up. But the guilt is eating me up I blame myself and it's hard to move on. Am I doing the right thing by not telling her? Because she would divorce me the second she found out. There's no way she could find out. I truly do love her and want us to build a great future together. Thanks -brad