Should I file for a divorse

ZoeMarie · Jul 8, 2009, 06:37 AM

Well, first of all, I think that you don't see a future with your husband because you're distracted by this other man. I think that continuing any kind of contact with him is going to seriously ruin any chance you have at saving your marriage and what's to say that this guy will ever leave his wife? He's saying he wants to be with you forever, but his actions aren't showing it. Actions speak louder than words. You owe it to your husband to talk about things and try to work through them. At least try, if all else fails, then reconsider filing for a divorce, but don't do it to be in a relationship with someone that's not available.

N0help4u · Jul 8, 2009, 06:42 AM

Often guys go through a lot of emotional problems they keep to themselves when they end up unemployed. Marriage is about being there to support your partner through thick and thin. Now he isn't working and you want to abandon him.
As far as I am concerned you should never dump someone for someone else.
Also you have to consider the emotional stability divorce has on kids.
You could end up having to take them to counselling because often they either blame themselves for your divorce or they hate you for leaving daddy that they loved. Plus all the changes you would be putting them through on top of it all,

Also how are you going to feel if you divorce and this other guy is all talk?

jessica9405 · Jul 8, 2009, 06:49 AM

As Dr. Phil would say, 99% of relationships that begin from infidelity...don't work out. If you cheat or this other man cheats, it's almost inevitable that one one of you will end up cheating on the other if you go forward with your relationship. Have you attempted to save your marriage? I.e. Counseling or something? If so & you feel it still won't work in the end you should move on...doing it the right way... For yourself & your kids... Not to jump into another relationship. Plus...keep in mind, the rule of the 'rebound' relationship....
Best of luck!

katlego31 · Jul 16, 2009, 03:16 AM

I've been dating this guy for the past four months, things where perfect and we told each other how much we loved each other, and now he got a promotion at work since then things have not been the same anymore. He is forever busy, we don't talk much anymore, we don't see each other more often and when we are together its like we don't have anything to talk about. We don't talk about us anymore and if I can try to bring up a topic that will require us to discuss our relationship he just gives me a short answer and then he is finished. I tried several times to tell him how I feel and how things have changed and he keeps on saying he doesn't see anything wrong with our relationship and that the only thing is he is busy at work. He said he will try to make things be the way they were in the beggining but nothing is happening. I'm so franstrated everyday of my life because now its like I'm pushing him to do something he doesn't want to do anymore.

Please help?

ZoeMarie · Jul 16, 2009, 03:40 AM

Well pushing him to do things is only going to push him away. Actions speak louder than words, and his actions are contradicting to what he says. I know people get busy at work, trust me, but when I get home after a day at work and then a couple Mary Kay appts I spend some quality time with my husband. I don't think any relationship that's worth it should be put on the back burner, but maybe that's just me. I just don't think it's fair to be too busy for someone and leave that person hanging.

Romefalls19 · Jul 16, 2009, 04:36 AM

Honeymoon phase is over, now you actually have to work on the relationship. If he's not willing to talk about it, then I don't see this lasting too much longer. Communication is key in relationships, without it you will surely sink.

I wish · Jul 16, 2009, 06:02 AM

I think that it's a fantasy to want to do the things that you've done in the beginning of the relationship. Things are getting comfortable and more serious. Work sometimes does take priority, but like Zoe said (has to spread rep), relationships shouldn't take the spot of back burner.

You're just going to have to keep trying to talk things out with him. If you feel that your talks are productive, but his actions haven't changed, it means there isn't much progress and he just said things to cheer you up in the moment of the discussion. Communication and actions are required.

katlego31 · Jul 21, 2009, 05:13 AM

They both are married to others

I've been seeing this guy for 5 month now and recently we've had a couple of problems and the other day I asked him if maybe he would prefer to be a friend rather than a lover to me and then he said yes. I was so devastated even though I'm the one who asked the question because I could see that things where not getting better between us. He said for now is still have issues at work he needs to sort out and he is hoping that they will be sorted out soon then things can go back to norma. I was shartted to hear that and I could stop crying, every time he called he would find me crying and he said he didn't want to see me not ok. He now changed his mind he said he loves me and he doesn't want to see me upset, he will try to fix things between us. Now I'm more confused between I keep asking myself that he wants to fix things because he feels sorry for me or he really want things to be ok. He doesn't tell me he loves me more ofter unless I say it. I'm now not relaxed about our relationship I don't know what to think and I'm so much in love with him.

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 21, 2009, 05:16 AM

He was honest with you and is back now with you because you cried. He is still unsure what he wants. But if you continue to push him you may end up losing him.

Should I file for a divorse

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