No sex after marriage

Are you wanting advice for your situation or are you wanting a discussion?

Your question has many answers including most women don't. In many cases that appear to be a woman (or man) using sex as a 'weapon' it turns out to be a lack of communication between the two people.

Open communication and actually listening to what each other is saying goes a long way in keeping anything from being used a 'weapon' in a relationship.

Bitter much?

That is what women good at… like we men do other things to use against them… it is sad but it is the truth and it do not means it is okay to do but it is what happen…
Have you tried to talk to her about it? Usually talking about things that bothers you both makes life easier. I been married and I can tell you it worked for me, maybe you want to try it and see if it works; also do not forget that usually men carry half the problem even when we do not like to admit it.
I myself was not good in bed because my sexual experiences was not that great however; time and reading taught me things about myself and about what women wants from a man including the feel or security and love. You cannot just demand sex whenever you want to; you must get her in the mood and not always seeking your sexual needs. Do some love tricks like writing on a small paper some sexual things you want to do to her and, get the paper to small size that fits inside her bras and ask her to keep it there the whole day on one condition; she do not open it until you both are together in the evening as a token of love. Now; that will get her to think about it the whole day knowing that she will open it the first minute she can and even if she was not in the mood still; that will force her to think about what could you do to her that night, making her focus on that the whole day until you back.
Usually women like to be satisfied too; but most of them do not even have orgasm but rather fake one to satisfy her partner; so what I would advise you to do is to work on your bed skills and know what she likes the most and what turns her on. 4-play is what most women like and you need to be careful about when you have your orgasm not to stop there. Hold her, kiss her and tell her how beautiful she is, how much you love her. It is then when she will know that you actually love her and not just her body. Kind words, passionate words usually give great affects….
By the way; I did not say you do not know or do that anyway; I am telling you what worked with me
Wish you the best

Sam

Your question is reminiscent of a woman asking why a man only wants sex, beer, sports and dinner on the table after marriage, and doesn't bother with romancing his wife or helping around the house. Or a guy that doesn't help with the kids or has no sympathy for "that time of the month" as long as he gets his sex.

Seriously, dude--your problem isn't that she's using sex as a weapon (and I doubt she is). It's that you're not communicating as a couple.

PS--for most women, sex is 99% mental. If she's ticked at you, or tired, or annoyed, OF COURSE sex isn't going to happen. It's like asking you if you want sex right after kicking you in the balls with the stiletto side of a high heel. Seriously--sex for women starts about 2 days before penis enters vagina, and involves a lot of MENTAL foreplay. If you're not getting into her head, you sure as hell aren't going to get into her pants.

Funny but mostly true

The good wives don't do that. And by "THAT" I mean making an issue out of everything and threatening no sex if she doesn't get her way.

Now what Synnen said is also very true...if this is a once in a while thing...suck it up. If you won't take the time with her you took BEFORE you got married...then no surprise she doesn't get all gung ho about it....they don't warm up at the snap of the fingers... Its like getting a campfire going on a damp morning and all you have is a book of matches. If you want a fire its going to take some finesse.

Really?
What about good men then?

Why is it we men think it is always what we want; what we expect from our wives?
Women are women but I will tell you something to clear my conscious; I was married twice and twice I was divorced and both times because I thought I was right when I was wrong…
Women are taken advantage of in this country; because we expect a lot from them, we want them to be; whom we want them to be not themselves… Sad that lots of women do that when that helps some men to do very bad things to their wives… Not a bad woman that refused sex when she do not want it... Did you know that some women do it only to satisfy her man even when she feels pain, tiredness, sickness?
Did you know that more than 80% of men in the United States abused their wives physically and physiological means. More than 60% of women in the US been beaten by a man; and more than 70% of those were beaten over sex and men’s demands.
If a woman said no! it is because something wrong in the relationship, not because she is a bad wife… She says no because something missing and by the way; more than 80% of divorces are because of sex and more than 90% of affairs and cheating are because sex where usually one of the two partners is not doing what they should be doing, not listening and hold the other one responsible for their own mistakes
I am sorry if you find this insulting; I only mean to explain other point views

Sam

There is no shortage of men that are and have been taken advantage of, or abused too....there is no monopoly on that by either sex.

Most women don't use sex as a weapon. Those that do, well, why are you married to her? She's not the type of person I'd have a relationship with.

The fact is, sex is something both parties have to want in order for it to happen. Just because the man is in the mood, doesn't mean the woman should just lay down, spread her legs, and make him happy. She has the right to say no, as does he.

Synnen is dead on accurate with her post. I wish I could rep her 100 times. If you want to get into her pants, you have to get into her head. If all you do is demand sex, without any thought to what your wife is feeling, without helping around the house, with the kids, etc. etc., then you're not going to be satisfied sexually by her.

One thing to keep in mind, and this is true for most women, myself included. Women nowadays have a lot more on their plate than they did even 30 years ago. We work, we raise our kids, we clean our homes, cook the meals, and much more. For the man that thinks that his only responsibility is going to work, providing for his family, well, he's missing the big picture.

I work full time at a job I'm paid for, just like my husband. But my job doesn't end there. I drive the kids to school, pick them up. I'm the one that corresponds with their teachers, helps them with homework, makes sure they bathe. I wash all the clothes, cook the meals, clean the house, take the kids to doctors appointments, do all the shopping, and take care of all the pets. My husband is a wonderful man, and I love him to death, but seriously, when I've been slaving away all day, and all he did was work an 8 hour shift, without even having the decency to put his dirty socks in the laundry hamper, he can forget about sex. I'm just too tired and frankly, fed up, to put out for someone that has none of the responsibilities I have, even though we're supposed to be in this together.

You want to have sex? Clean the house! Cook a meal once in a while! Do some laundry! Mow the lawn. Take one of the jobs she has off her hands. As is, most women that work outside the home, and have children, are just too darn tired and frustrated for sex.