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I hope this is the right category...yesterday I came across some of my mom's emails which showed that she and another man hve been sleeping together since christmas eve. That was scary enough, but then some of the emails started talking about hwo she was going to get a divorce from my dad, and even mentioned trips they've secretly taken to the lawyer! My dad and her have been married for 20+ years and he just retired last month. All he wants to do now is travel with my mom and spend his time relaxing after working for all those years to support her and me and my brother...How do I tell him that the person he's supposed to grow old with and be like...his companion and best friend to the end is secretly plannign to divorce him?? At his retirement party a month ago he gave a speech about how she was his best friend and the love of his life and it almost brought him to tears. I saved some of the more incriminating messages about lawyers and their plotting but my question is who should I tell? Shoudl I tell my mom and hope she stops? Should I tell my dad so that he can start taking steps to protect himself with his own lawyer or shoudl I just keep it to myself and hope she doesnt go through with it? I don't want them to get divorced, i dont want him to spend all his retirement savings on lawyers instead of travelling and seeing the world like hes been dreaming about since as long as i can remember. Sorry if this is not written very well, i just dont have anyone i can ask these questions --im scared if i talk to anyone i know that it'll get back to my mom or dad thorugh gossip...please help!!
Amanda, you didn't say how old you are, did you? Some have suggested you tell your Dad; some have said confront your Mom. What if you spoke with someone not in your family, like a minister or rabbi or priest. Make certain they will agree to honor your confidence, first of all. I see no reason to rush into anything; you can continue to watch them and figure out what is going on before you get into controversy. Please take your time with this.
I don't think she should tell her dad because it may cause him to resent her. People deal with stress in different ways...Ever hear of the saying "Don't shoot the messenger" Yes it is his daughter and yes he will always love her, but by being the one to break such bad news to him, he will always have to remember that she was the one who told him. This is the mom's burden. She made her bed and now she should lie in it. If she confronts her mom, it may force mom to tell dad.
mom baiting you to find out if you were reading her emails....
Ohioguy
I agree with you 99.9% of the time but this is the 0.01 I don't
Why would another guy go along with baiting emails if he didn't have a belief she is going to leave the dad for him.
I doubt she could have just found a guy friend to do that for anything but wrong reasons of some sort. I doubt the reasons would be as simple as baiting.
If she is confronted she may deny and try to pass it off as that but I really think she is up to no good and more than what is on the surface. What is to stop her from taking all the retirement money and running off to some tropical paradise with this other guy?
NOhelp4u... I was only thinking that she could have set up a fake email with the other guy's name... if she thought the daughter was reading her emails...
I agree that is probably too much to hope for, but I was hoping for the "best" if you know what I mean...
because I feel bad for the daughter and the father and was hoping that the mother would not really go through with such an awful thing.
I'm probably way off... and was just as naive when it came to my own divorce and never saw it coming at all!
I also don't support the mother at all... but wish the best for the father and daughter.
If I were you I would let your mom know that you know about the situation . Then I would tell her to tell your Dad about so at least he can have his dignity. I'm not a fan in not doing anything then the problem will just have a worse out come to . TALK TO YOUR FOLKS!!!!!!!!!! Who knows mabe you can save there marriage. you never know.
Your dad has already been betrayed emotionally, but you may be able to keep him from being betrayed financially. A woman who will cheat on her husband of 20+ years will probably also steal from him. Show him the emails and tell him to consult a good divorce attorney IMMEDIATELY.
Show him the emails and let your dad take the proper steps. It's his money that will be taken from him by your mom. She betrayed him after having a good life all these years. It's not fair to keep this from him. He deserves more. He will need his money to raise you with. If mom cleans out the bank accounts what will he use then? Ever think of that?
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