I hope this is the right category...yesterday I came across some of my mom's emails which showed that she and another man hve been sleeping together since christmas eve. That was scary enough, but then some of the emails started talking about hwo she was going to get a divorce from my dad, and even mentioned trips they've secretly taken to the lawyer! My dad and her have been married for 20+ years and he just retired last month. All he wants to do now is travel with my mom and spend his time relaxing after working for all those years to support her and me and my brother...How do I tell him that the person he's supposed to grow old with and be like...his companion and best friend to the end is secretly plannign to divorce him?? At his retirement party a month ago he gave a speech about how she was his best friend and the love of his life and it almost brought him to tears. I saved some of the more incriminating messages about lawyers and their plotting but my question is who should I tell? Shoudl I tell my mom and hope she stops? Should I tell my dad so that he can start taking steps to protect himself with his own lawyer or shoudl I just keep it to myself and hope she doesnt go through with it? I don't want them to get divorced, i dont want him to spend all his retirement savings on lawyers instead of travelling and seeing the world like hes been dreaming about since as long as i can remember. Sorry if this is not written very well, i just dont have anyone i can ask these questions --im scared if i talk to anyone i know that it'll get back to my mom or dad thorugh gossip...please help!!

amanda11

well, i told my mom that i knew, and she treid to convince me that he already knew but i didnt believe her so i made her tell him. my dad was really upset, but he thought about it and told me they've been married for 24 years, and that they made vows to work things out when they got married, and that he has some responsibility if she is cheating on him, so they went to councelling for a couple of weeks but now she's moved out and they've sepparated, sooo...they're still amicable, but things are prettymuch over. i can tell you, it was great advice i got here and the weight and responsibility that was lifted off me was sooo liberating once i told them. it turned it from my problem to theirs and that was so much better! thank you everyone!!

Greg Quinn

Thats great.

George_1950

Thank you, amanda, and keep us up date, if you like. Just curious: how did you make your mom tell your dad? Do you have brothers/and or sisters home, also?