I have been married for 6 months now but I am still in love with my ex-fiance who says he feels the same way but has a baby on the way and he says he does not love this girl he just tried to fill a void after I got married. I don't want to hurt my husband but, I don't know what to do. My ex and I live 800 miles away and we plan to meet to get closure what should I do? Should I even go? My ex and I were together for 4 years and have a daughter together. I think I just got married because my husband is everything my ex is not. I have been trying to suppress the feelings I have for my ex but it's not working especially since he has told me how he feels now.I am not in love with my husband and now that I think about it I don't think I ever really was I was just trying following my brain and not my heart.

No In my opinion.. you are married and he has a baby on the way. If you are happy with your husband why ruin it by seeing an ex and to even go the effort in meeting up, you are in a new marriage, and it isn't wise to act hastily and risk the chance of ruining your marriage so soon and breaking trust and commitment. He may not love his girl and that is not your problem, Do you love your husband?

I suppose you do.. so why risk hurting him?

And that should be enough for you not to even go there! I know you may think you love your ex fiancée, but there has to be a reason he is an ex and not your husband. BTW can you imagine your husband doing this to you I think it would probably hurt you. There are many reasons to say no... but before you make a decision you may regret you sit and think about the consequences.

Looks like you are having major issues and ready to jump from the frying pan into the fire. I believe you need a competent counselor, fast.

No.

You don't need to meet to get closure. All you have to do is say "goodbye".


Do what you promised to do when you MARRIED your husband. Be faithful to him and put aside the past. He is your future now and you are his future.

Genesis 2 24 Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh.

Love is a matter of will. It is a myth to believe that love just happens to you. You married a man whom you love enough that you don't want to hurt him. And he must be a good man otherwise you wouldn't care about hurting him. So, be faithful to him as you promised to do.

And, if you were married in Church, you have forgotten that you made your vows to God before God.

Hebrews 13 4 Marriage honourable in all, and the bed undefiled. For fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Sincerely,

De Maria

It's amazing that you would take your life commitments so callously. There is a devoted, caring, faithful man at your side who has sworn a blood oath to you. He treats you wonderfully and has promised to make a life for you together.

But you are letting memories of an ex and feelings (which you have no control over) bring you to the brink of throwing it all away... and the ex CLEARLY hasn't been the kind of man you would describe as the man you would want to marry!

It's amazing. Life is lived in the real world with the real commitments people make. Not in the fantasy world where "i love him/he loves me" rules supreme. It doesn't rule supreme, or these forums wouldn't even exist!

All the things that broke you and your EX up were real... including his other girls and now baby(s) on the way. He is what he is. A past fancy. I'm sure it was fired up when you two were together and might be if you were available to be with him again. But you're not.

Of course you're not going to meet him for closure. That's selfish talk for "lay the groundwork for destroying my perfectly manageable marriage"... possibly even get in some heated, nasty "taboo sex" at the same time.

Yes, you CAN do these things, but these are not the behaviors of good people. When you altar-vowed to your husband it was a change in life. You said "I'm a better person now, and together we will face issues differently, with the OTHER person in mind, no longer ourselves." But you are still thinking of yourself.

How else can you explain how completely you're letting yourself ignore all the awful things that led to your breakup with your ex in the first place?

Your marriage is the place of great possibility. You can dream of old boyfriends, but you take that resulting energy and give it to your husband. That's a loving person.

Ex-fiancé, husband, now you want the ex back, because he said he has feelings for you.
What of your daughter?
What of your husband?
What of his wife?
What of his child?
Why is he an ex?
How do you know you don't love your husband, when your focused on the ex?
How old are you both?
How come you don't just divorce the husband, if you don't want him?
Do you work?
Can you support yourself?
And your kids?
You ever think you have no clue as to what you want?
Why did you get married in the first place if you weren't ready to be a wife?
What kind of mother teaches her daughter to jump from man to man?
Have you considered having your tubes tied, to make it at least safe from getting pregnant?
Does your husband deserve to be cheated on?
Can your ex afford all his babies?
All these questions, are there answers, if not, forget closure, forget the ex, start acting like a wife, and see if you can have a happy family.
Your heart is not right, and your brain is playing tricks on you.