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My wife cam to me a few weeks ago and told me she had been having an affair for the past 8 months. We have been married now for 11 years and have had our ups and downs but this took me completly by suprise. She told me she had stopped seeing this guy a few days before she tole me. She said the guilt was eating at her and she had to tell me. Now all the trust i had built up for her is gone. What should i do??
well that means you want a divorce, so move out and hire an attorney.
But no, a wife having an affair does not mean she is as "slut" it means there was something she did not beleive she had in her marriage and looked for it somewhere else. ** this does not mean she was losing it at home, but she may have only thought some level of something was missing.
Also no it is only you that will see her as tainted, a good counseler would never first beleive it, they see the value of all people, and next they would be looking for a way for all people to find a way to get back together.That is what you would be paying them for. They would look into what each of you had, want and where each want to go.
If you don't want to salavage your marriage that is your choice,
You can even stay or go. Couseloring will help your overcome it and hopefully help you trust your wife again but only if you want to try again. The choice is yours. What reasons did she give for cheating anyway because personally thats not right in my book.
She feels like I did something wrong. Ive been working alot out of town but home on the weekends. She left her job during the day to see this guy and then told me she was going out of town for the weekend with a girll friend to see an air show and all along she was with this guy. She lied to me and her family but yet she wants to make it work. I dont think I can trust her like I once did.
So she has an affair for 8 months. On a serious note if you think couseloring wont work and you no longer want to be with her then get ready for a divorce. When someone you love cheats on you of course you feel hurt but it up to you to forgive and if you dont want the marriage to end then you work on it, but it hard. If you done nothing wrong to her and did everything a husband is suppose to and never mistreated her she should not blame you starting off wrong. If she works it to work she needs to be honesty and thats dont start with I cheated, but its all your fault so if she going admitted to it then her story needs a begining, middle, and end.
She felt close enough to you and told you. Many women would have kept it from you. I think she's a keeper. If you think you can no longer trust her, can anyone be "trusted" not to be human? to make mistakes?
Whether you like this or not. Counseling is important for yourself, even marriage counseling. This is needed. The last resort. As somebody pointed out at least she told you. That takes strengh although she told you for the wrong reasons to releave herself from guilt because of her actions.
It is up to you what you do, but you do have a right to divorce her if that is what you want to do. No one is going to stop you.
Im not going to pay someone to tell me my wifes a slut I already know that now i look at her as tainted goods.
if you think of her as 'tainted goods' and a.. well you know.. then why the hell are you spending your time with this woman if you call her these things behind her back!?!? either see a counsellor, or maybe you should think about leaving her .. shes been lieing to you for how many years? saying she loved you when she was loving someone else.. a healthy relationship involves TRUST .. if theres no trust then how can you maintainn a loving and healthy relationship????
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