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Home > Family & People > Marriage   »   Marriage/seperation/possible divorce

 
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Old Jul 10, 2008, 08:41 AM
cdbrown
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Marriage/seperation/possible divorce

Hello everyone it has been a while since I have posted anything. Let me catch everyone up. On April 25, 2008 my husband of 18 months said he thought he would be happier being single. Now he and I are 25 years old and have been together since we were 16 going on 17. So we have been together for almost 10 years. We don't have children by the way. We have had our ups and downs but never broke up the whole time we have been together. I lied about bills, tried to keep him from his family(long story), and didn't trust him 100%.(He has given me reason to not trust him) On April 19,2008 I found out he had been texting my best friend for over 2 months behind my back.(She has been going through a divorce for over 6 months. Her husband won't sign the papers) I confronted them both and they said they were just friends.(They said out of respect for me they would stop talking) One week went by and Andy said he wanted to be single. They started talking again on the 27th of April which is two days after I left. Ok, since we have been seperated I found out he has been asking girls out. He keeps saying he is going to file for the divorce but it has been over 2 months since we seperated. He has had the money but he is spending it on clothes, shoes, electronics, and things like that. I feel like he is trying to fill the void with materialistic things. I love him and I want our marriage to work. I have been saved an baptised since all of this has happened. I work two jobs and paying off all my debt. I have completely become a different person. He is living like a slob. Our house is a complete and total wreck. Clothes everywhere and other things too. I took everything but the couch and kitchen table because it all belonged to me. The house belonged to his father and he is living with Andy now basically. I pray everyday that Andy will realize what he is messing up and will want to work things out. It is obvious that he doesn't really want the divorce. If he truly did I feel like he would have filed by now. Andy has truly never been this type of person. He has done a complete 360. Anyone got any suggestions? Thanks a lot.

Christy

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Old Jul 15, 2008, 04:43 AM   #11  
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When I say leave him alone, I meant to back off him, and his problems, and focus on you, and what you do, as you still need to maintain your own peace of mind, and provide for yourself a degree of your own happiness.

Sometimes separation, and space, among couples can be enlightening to the partner, as he can see your happy, and want to share in it. If not his pills will take him down a bad path, that he will either see, and turn away from, or find himself lost.

The most important thing is you, and keep your strength, and not be pulled down, by whatever his demons are.

Your both young, and learning, so be patient and aware that there is a lot of work to do, together, but there is no hurry, so its all about strengthening the bond thru communication, without putting each other down, but expressing concerns, and learning how best to work together.
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