Marriage and love

Krs · #1 Feb 15, 2007, 07:11 AM

my friend yesterday told something that stuck to me and i wasnt so sure how to react or even what to say to her.

She has been married for 2 yrs, she said that she wonders if he is the one for her???

What does that mean? She then added that she loves him and would feel lost without him.

She confused me.

NeedKarma · Feb 15, 2007, 07:16 AM

I have definetely seen some women get married to someone they feel 'close to' for the simple fear of not wanting to be 'left on the shelf'. Apparently there are still some women that feel that they need a man and marriage to feel complete. Then inevitably some conflict occurs and they wonder if he really is that knight in shining armour.

Well that my view anyway, from experience.

Krs · Feb 15, 2007, 07:22 AM

I agree with what you say!

But then why say she loves him and wouldnt live without him

kp2171 · Feb 15, 2007, 07:25 AM

hard to know what it means without you getting her to talk more...

does she find someone else attractive and is being distracted? is she unfulfilled in some way? did she feel pressured into marriage? etc?

i think you are going to have to talk to her to know more. she threw it out on the table. she wants to talk about it and it seems like she wants to talk to you.

chances are if you get her rolling on the discussion, and you are mostly asking her to explain, not judging her, shell let you in on whatever is kicking around her head.

Krs · Feb 15, 2007, 07:30 AM

Thanks guys, ill have to talk to her.

Well i spoke to my friend.
She said she loves him so much, but sometimes she just wonders if he is for her as she doesnt always find him attractive, and she feels she gets turned on only when she is horny not because of him!!! Also she said she doesnt always agree with his attitude and what he says.

!!!!!!!!!

What do u guys think?

ordinaryguy · Feb 16, 2007, 05:15 AM

She sounds like an immature, unsettled, confused, ambivalent, uncommitted, wistful, young daydreamer who got married before she got all her itches scratched. How old is she? I'm guessing mid-twenties. I got married at 22. My wife and I were both virgins. Within four years we were divorced for these very reasons. Too much curiosity, not enough maturity.

Krs · Feb 16, 2007, 05:19 AM

She is 26 and he is 29. she got married at 24.

She was a virgin when she met him, she was 18. he wasnt a virgin!

Is that the cause of all her issues!!!??

talaniman · Feb 16, 2007, 05:54 AM

She may well be thinking about all the stuff she missed and can't get back such as parties, friends, and other men. She could wish she had waited longer and got those itches scratched. Its normal to have those feeling when your a young married woman. Sometimes what we think is an all engulfing love wears off when life routines take give us a reality check.

Krs · Feb 16, 2007, 05:58 AM

I dont know wat sort of advice to give her. I agree with you Tal about those being her reasons thou.

talaniman · Feb 16, 2007, 08:27 AM

Tell her to explore her life within the marriage boundaries. When I first got married my wife had a life and routine that she found fun and fulfilling, and she continued it after I came along. Babies slowed her down for a while but if she didn't take them with her then they where with me so we were both free to enjoy ourselves, and looking back I think thats why we can sit home and enjoy our life after children, because we never stopped enjoying ourselves without the other around, hope this makes sense.



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