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I have been married for 5 years with my husband and we have a 3 year old daughter and when it comes to sex we love it in fact we have it all the time but when my husband comes home from work the first thing he does is touch me all over my body in all those areas that dont need to be explained and all day from when he get home until we go to bed he only touches me there what can i do to make my husband realize that there is more to me that boobs and ??
Okay, I have a different approach. He grabs you, you grab him, and non to gently either, after a while he'll get the hint. (kidding, a little bit)
Just talk to him about it, tell him that you love having sex with him and you love that he shows his love for you, but that it's getting to be a bit to much for you to be constantly manhandled by him.
I tried talking and when that didn't work I used the pan I was cooking dinner with. A few swats with that and he cut that out real quick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
Okay, I have a different approach. He grabs you, you grab him, and non to gently either, after a while he'll get the hint. (kidding, a little bit)
See, although I UNDERSTAND these suggestions, I have to repeat - You can win this battle and LOSE the WAR.
Just make sure what you want to do is teach this man to suppress his urges towards you. I wouldn't recommend that. I would suggest you teach him more appropriate ways to DO what he wants, and you even participate. That wins the battle AND the war.
But it's your choice what is most important to you.
You totally miss the point, rocket man....it's not about sex or love....she should forbid it and show him how to kiss her gently on the lips and say "I love you". "
Feel free to forbid it. And feel free to accept the consequences.
I am not trying to preach a dogma here, I'm trying to shake up some awareness here that being married isn't about being right, it's not about defining boundaries, it's not about respectfulness. It's about ALL THOSE THINGS PLUS a huge helping of "I get what my mate really needs and will go to the ends of the earth to try and give it to them."
They both need to be this way. But she can only take care of her half. From where I sit, allowing it and participating in it and guiding it into a version she can live with and eventually appreciate is a road to marital success.
All I want is for her to acknowledge what I'm saying, even if she decides not to follow it, and my belief is most people won't. Being selfless is hard work.
So, feel free to forbid it completely and teach him to kiss you gently and say "I love you." It's totally the same thing for him, right?
Marriage is about communtion so just let him know how you feel about this issue becuse its not base on sex and if he think so then couseloring is needed.
I thought it funny whoever posted about hitting him with a pan, thats something you would see in comedy.lol. I would keep that advice in case it needed in the future.
There is always a right way to express yourself in a marriage, and we all have our own way of doing that. Knowing yourself, and knowing your partner well enough to know what he reacts best, to is the whole key. Some of us guys need a frying pan to get our attention. Some of us can take a dirty look as a warning. When smoke comes out of my wifes ears, then I know to pay attention. We all have our way.
Eek Tal, I accidentally hit enter before I finished writing. I wanted to say that you shouldn't be forced to accept something that you don't like, period.
You probably don't want to hear this, but his touching games are somewhat hostile.
Doesn't it irritate you? Don't you think he is "marking his territory", not being loving?
HOSTILE????? Immature maybe but certainly not hostile. I think you sjould just be honest with the guy(be kind) and let him know that you like to be touched but not all of the time.
The whole thing is....has she TOLD him she doesn't like it?
I mean, how can he be being mean and hostile and immature and whatever if he thinks she likes it too?
Seriously--this is about communication, not about disrespect or cruelty or whatever.
ASKING him to stop, or asking him to do something different that's still win-win would probably work better than just fuming about it, or hitting him with a frying pan, or being a nag about it or whatever.
Just say "honey, I know that you're just expressing your desire for me (which is GREAT! I love that you want me!), but it's really getting to the point where it's somewhat annoying thatyou ONLY touch my naughty bits, and not the rest of me. Could we work on that together? I mean, instead of groping me, could you kiss the back of my neck first thing, and work UP to groping?"
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