Hello well I'm stacy and is seventeen and turning 18 in like 5 months my question is, is it a good idea to get married at this age? My fiancée is Kimo and he is in the military and has been in for a year so far. He is one year ahead of me in age, we met about 4 years ago and have been together for 2 years. I an a straigt A student in highschool and yes I plan to go to college. The reason why we want to get married so soon is because he gets deployed to Iraq a month after I get out of highschool. Because of his military career we colud have a house, we already have a car, and my schooling expences will better but I already have a couple of scholarships as it is so I'm not completly worried about that and I don't have to worry about a job because my aunt has a place for me to work already so I'm pretty much set.......and yes I looove him dearly we have had a clean relationship for 2 years now and it is still going strong. I have already dealt with the long distance relationship first hadj and I'm all good. I just keep myself busy with my horses and I'm fine my parents actually love the fact because the looooove him we are both drug and alcohol free and plan to keep it that way In my opinion we both have a good head on our sholders. We talk about all our choices and decide what's best and we thing it will best to go ahead with this decision......I just want a second opinion on the whole matter just to be safe. Well let me know what you think

Jake2008

What I SHOULD say, is, you are too young, wait for a few more years until you are out of college and more mature.

BUT, I have known people of ALL ages who have got married, and in my opinion, none of them had a better chance of longevity or success, simply because of the age they were when they got married. There is no magic age that will guarantee success.

I've known 35 year olds without the sense of a 10 year old, and 25 year olds that marry 50 year olds, and nobody has dibs on what will, or won't be successful.

Then there are people who trap people into relationships and marriage with babies, and those out to marry someone for goals other than love. Many 'mature' people marry for all the wrong reasons; security, influence, money.

To say that because of your age, it's not a good idea, does not paint a whole picture either. Your age alone will not predict success or failure, in my opinion.

I'd say if your parents are onboard, and things are as you said, the choice is yours, and yours alone to make.

0rphan

Hi Stacey..... you obviously are a very sensible person, but the fact that you ask the question, tells me.....no your not ready to marry yet.

You are both still very young and i know you have been together for 2 years, but i wonder why you want to rush into it.

I know your fiancee` is to be posted to Iraq, but you say you are used to being apart, so a little more time will not matter.

You are both very lucky to have found each other, plus you have very good heads on your shoulders, i commend you for that and i also understand that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, but there is no rush, you will still be there when your fiancee` returns and in love as much as always.


I just think that you are both very young to decide on your whole future at the age of 17, when you have your whole lives to look foreward too.....home family etc.

You are only young once and perhaps should live out your dreams before you settle down, it's a big world out there, full of wonderful experiences.

However should you decide to go ahead with your marriage, i wish you both all the love and luck in the world.

May God bless you both in your future life together.

Gernald

Wow you sound like you have more sense than most married people: you have a plan.

That being said, listen to what everyone above says, broaden your horizions, live life. The problem with getting married so young is that as you get older you find that you can't stand to be alone and can't do things on your own. I'm not saying that this is you, but I think that if he loves you he will wait and then when he comes back you can consider marriage as an option.
This is also important because when the soldiers go over there they don't always stay the same person that they used to be, they're different, they're forced to grow up and see things no human should ever see.
If I were you I'd go on with the relationship, get engaged if you feel so obliged, but not married, not yet. There's time enough for marriage later, go be young.
Like everyone else said though, the decision is yours and yours alone to make.

artlady

You and your fiance sound like very sensible mature people with good direction.

There are exceptions to every rule but generally speaking,I think 17 or 18 is too young.

The reason being,the way you feel at 18 and the way you will feel at 25 are worlds apart.You change and grow so much in that time.

I also think it is important to experience life a little more before you make a life long decision.

A good healthy relationship will stand the test of time,so give yourself that.

Best of luck!

liz28

I agreed with everyone else and just wanted to add my 2 cents.

When I was your age me and my daughter father wanted to get marriage. We got along well, was in love, was committed to eachother, and everything was going good. We got engagement but decided to live together first, and I glad we did because we realize that we couldn't live together regardless of the talks we had.

So I think anyone that is considering marriage should live together first because then you get to see the true them.

Also does it real matter if your get married now or 2 or 3 years from now? Marriage doesn't change the love your have for one another it changes your name.

Another thing is to consider is can you handle being a army wife? My father was in the army and my mother had to deal with alot especially if he's planing to have a career in it.

Silverfoxkit

You seem like a smart girl with a plan, but you have to remember being deployed changes people. Your boyfriend sounds like a decent man, but you need to be prepared for him to come back different. He will do and see things that may haunt him for the rest of his life and change the way he acts completely. Being an army wife is also not the easiest of tasks. You could get a call at any moment saying your husband is not coming back, and the stress alone can sometimes seem unbearable. I am not just speaking logically, but semi-personally as well. Most of my family and friends are in some branch of the military, and I know how hard it is on all of them.

Sara Piemontese

Well you seem to love him dearly, I'm 17 and going through the same problem. If you do truly love him you should give love a chance. Everything happens for a reason right? Follow your heart. Everything will make since in the end.

ScottGem

What does giving love a chance have to do with marrying too young? Seems this couple has given love a chance and its worked for 4 years so why rush to get married?

And while everything MAY happen for a reason, the reason and the results are not always good.

Sara Piemontese

Sorry I was just giving my opinion...