Greetings and WELCOME to the site, jessiewhat2000!! I just moved your question from Introductions over to the Marriage topic area of this site so that it will get more exposure and thus more responses. The Introductions section is for introductions only and not questions.
Please do take some time to introduce yourself on the Introductions section and thank you for using this site!
You may never know for sure unless he admits to it, you see him, or have an investigator follow him etc.
Just the fact that you have suspicions says that something is wrong in the marriage. It does not mean that he is guilty or not.
Whatever is triggering your suspicions needs to be explored. There might be more than one explanation. You should talk to him about it and your feelings as well as ways for him to help you not have those feelings. Listen to his explanations. Keep the dialogue going until you feel comfortable. If you are unable to discuss it with him, or he is unwilling to respond appropriately, then that alone is a problem.
Don't accuse him, just share your thoughts telling him you want to resolve your fears and need his help. You'll have to tell what makes you feel that he is, and what he can do about it...
In that case, you have the options of deciding if you can live with that suspicion, and him regardless of the answer, or if you want to leave, when, and how. Only you can decide if you have to know the answer, if it matters to you, and if not knowing will make you want to leave. I'm not telling you what to do at all.
I have known people who didn't care if the spouse had affairs as long as they were happy. It was easy for them to let the spouse play. If the suspicions bother you, and he is not trying to communicate, that is a reason for concern for which you can keep trying or end the relationship.
How do you interpret his lack of an answer? I mean is it a denial or just a refusal to talk about it? And what does that mean to you? How does it make you feel? Is he caring about your feelings?
Well, what is your husband doing (or not) to make you feel this way?
Is there anything new going on in your life? Just had a baby? New job? Those kinds of stresses can change you - so he may be adjusting to something like that??
I am a firm believer in your intuition, if you have warning bells going off in your head, then you need to figure it this out. Does that mean that he is having an affair? Not necessarily.
Perhaps a better question is "Why do you think he is?" Other posters have already acknowledged that this needs to be addressed but knowing the specifics will make it much easier to give you some insight.
To answer all of your questions, He refuse to talk to me about anything when i ask him where he has been since he got off of work he tell not to worry about it. Sex is something that doesn't happen very often and he came home with scratches on his sides and said it happened at work
Oh..
Well, does he have a job where it would be plausable that he get scratches on his side?
Do not be afraid to talk to your husband. I know sometimes we will get answers we don't want. But, you need to sit him down and tell him how these behaviors are making you feel. There could be a reasonable explaination for everything you have listed.
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