I need to know if what he says is the truth

cecilia07 · #1 Oct 30, 2007, 05:16 AM

I met this wonderful man through internet. We coincided in so many things and fell in love almost immediately, even before we met in person. When we finally did, we could not be apart anymore. Here is my problem. He told me his story and I can't believe him because it doesn't seem to be logical at all. He tells me he never felt this way, this connection with anybody else. He was married only once for 25 years, has 4 children and never been with another woman but his ex. His ex cheated on him after about 10 years of marriage. They separated for one month
but then the ex lost their children to a forster home and looked for him, so they went back for the sake of the children, although they agreed to separate when the last child was 18 and working, which they did. Now they are divorced. My question is, how can a man live for so many year with a horrible woman who cheated on him? They had sex, according to him, very few times a year. He stopped loving her after only a year of being married. There was no communication between them. How could they have more children then? He said although they did not have sex too often, she got pregnant and he loves children. He is quiet, he seems to be saying the truth but it doesn't sound logical to me. His ex never worked, he said she only wanted his money to get coffee and cigarettes. All this story tortures me because I don't want to think he is lying. He said he stayed for his children and never found love like with me now. Please tell me if this sounds logical to you.
Thank you.
Cecilia

shygrneyzs · Oct 30, 2007, 05:26 AM

Well, his whole story could be true. Truth is stranger than fiction. When he says he went back for the sake of the children - many people use their children as an excuse to cover their own inabilties to stand up for themselves. My question - when the wife lost the children to foster care - what was going on there? In a month all the children went into foster care? Where was he? Why didn't Social Services notify him and he be allowed to take his children before placing the children outside the home? What was wrong with him?

I would not be in this relationship with this guy. You have some red flags. Now you might feel this is workable but I would suggest some couples counseling, like a premarital counseling. Not saying you are getting married but you get the idea.

necrolichmon · Oct 30, 2007, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cecilia07

I met this wonderful man through internet. We coincided in so many things and fell in love almost immediately, even before we met in person. When we finally did, we could not be apart anymore. Here is my problem. He told me his story and I can't believe him because it doesn't seem to be logical at all. He tells me he never felt this way, this connection with anybody else. He was married only once for 25 years, has 4 children and never been with another woman but his ex. His ex cheated on him after about 10 years of marriage. They separated for one month
but then the ex lost their children to a forster home and looked for him, so they went back for the sake of the children, although they agreed to separate when the last child was 18 and working, which they did. Now they are divorced. My question is, how can a man live for so many year with a horrible woman who cheated on him? They had sex, according to him, very few times a year. He stopped loving her after only a year of being married. There was no communication between them. How could they have more children then? He said although they did not have sex too often, she got pregnant and he loves children. He is quiet, he seems to be saying the truth but it doesn't sound logical to me. His ex never worked, he said she only wanted his money to get coffee and cigarettes. All this story tortures me because I don't want to think he is lying. He said he stayed for his children and never found love like with me now. Please tell me if this sounds logical to you.
Thank you.
Cecilia

well it sounds like you are in quite a problem. well this is what i think. if he really loves you like you say he does, why would he tell lies to you. also if you love him you should tell him to try to forget his horrible past and think of you two and the future for you both. if you have true love for you both then love will only be stronger by helping him with this problem. also if he does not do any think of this just tell him to show you the family.(but that is just my idea, you dont really have to do that.)



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