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Just found out my wife is GAY.

Asked Oct 21, 2008, 04:42 AM — 16 Answers
Well maybe some one will help.

What should I do if I have found my wife for 11 years is GAY and wants to be a man in a relationship. We have a 7 year old son and she has an 18 year old daughter. I have 2 children of my own that no longer lives with us for the reason of they heard a conversation with myself and the wife.

I have tried to discuss the problem with the wife but she insists that is was she wants so what to do.

I found out 2 years ago that she had this feeling and now it has came to where she will go out and get a hotel with her girlfriend and spend the night.

I don't want to tear my 7 year olds life apart and my 18 year old step daughter I have had for years. My step daughter knows about her mom and wants me to leave and her and my son go with me I thought that would look odd and every one else would too. My step daughter takes care of the house cause her mom will work 3 nights a week and in class during the day(married a want to be school girl for ever) and when she is not in class she is a sleep she don't do anything as far as house work or anything like that she just barely will fix hot dogs for our son when I'm not there and my step daughter is not there. SO SOME ONE GIVE ME SOME ADVISE?

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16 Answers
talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,359, Reputation: 50366
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#2

Oct 21, 2008, 08:16 AM


Time for someone to leave, as she has already ended things with you.

Tell her get her butt out!
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jjwoodhull's Avatar
jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 1210
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#3

Oct 21, 2008, 08:21 AM
It's over. First, she is finally being honest about her sexual orientation and she wants to be with a woman, not a man. Second, she cheated on you! Separating and moving on with your lives will make a much healthier/happier life for your son then if he grows up in a loveless, cheating household.
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asking's Avatar
asking Posts: 2,675, Reputation: 3363
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#4

Oct 21, 2008, 08:30 AM
You are worried about what will look odd? Things are already odd.

Do you have a full time job? How old is your step daughter?
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fmucikeked's Avatar
fmucikeked Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#5

Oct 21, 2008, 08:34 AM
Well we have came to a decision and we figure that if we act like there is nothing wrong then we will keep our son happy but I know one day he will find the truth out but it would destroy him because his life is dad and mom. If this is a good thing I don't know cause it is driving me in sane but keeping him happy.
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fmucikeked's Avatar
fmucikeked Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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#6

Oct 21, 2008, 08:35 AM
No I am self employed and she is 18.
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fmucikeked's Avatar
fmucikeked Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#7

Oct 21, 2008, 08:37 AM
I will return in a couple hours
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jjwoodhull's Avatar
jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 1210
Ultra Member
  
#8

Oct 21, 2008, 08:40 AM
Kids are not stupid. They pick up on what is going on in the house. Down the road, he will resent you for lying to him. Also, what kind of parents will you be if you are so unhappy?
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DrJ's Avatar
DrJ Posts: 1,344, Reputation: 1758
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#9

Oct 21, 2008, 08:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fmucikeked View Post
Well we have came to a decision and we figure that if we act like there is nothing wrong then we will keep our son happy but I know one day he will find the truth out but it would destroy him because his life is dad and mom. If this is a good thing I don't know cause it is driving me in sane but keeping him happy.
Bad answer... No... Wrong...

Staying together for the kids is not healthy.

It is better for your son to learn that parents don't always stay together but that they can still love him just the same than to grow up watching such a dysfunctional relationship. Don't do that to him. Life is full of surprises, gay people, disappointments, and divorce. I would rather learn that lesson than be lied to by my parents my entire childhood... Very destructive.

What are you going to do when the kid is old enough to know better? "Sorry we couldn't keep the lie going longer, son..."

Bad answer... No... Wrong...
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DrJ's Avatar
DrJ Posts: 1,344, Reputation: 1758
Ultra Member
  
#10

Oct 21, 2008, 08:43 AM
Let me just add that I have an 11 yr old with a now gay woman... My ex-wife.

We split up about a year before she realized that she was gay.

She has been with her girlfriend for about 6 years now and my daughter loves all 3 of us. She now knows the relationship between her mom and her mom's girlfriend and is totally fine with it.

Kids grow up fast these days. They know and understand more than you may realize.
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