Intra Faith marriage

Ithappenstoall · Oct 28, 2009, 03:07 AM

Hello all,

I have a question regarding intra faith marriages and if anyone has personal experience regarding this matter.

A little bit about my situation: I am with a wonderful Muslim women in a long distance relationship and I am of Christian faith. To make things clear we started dating 10 months ago in the same city and now for 2 months have been in different parts of the world. I want to talk about this because I want to clear everything up before things get even more serious. We have expressed our thoughts of being together and we both want it to work. She tells me she doesn't see herself without me and constantly reminds me of that and I do the same.We already have mentioned things such as raising a family and where to live. On every level she is all that I want: caring, smart, witty, cute... you name it. If faith was not an issue there would be no problem We both have very close cultures. But now that it is, I find it really sad that this would be the reason why things wouldn't happen.

I hope you can help clear my head and make me see that even in this case, there can be light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks.

carla123 · Oct 30, 2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ithappenstoall

And another thing, can you give me more info about your relationship (if you dont mind me asking), how long have you been with me , where ... etc

THANK YOU

introduced to me by a group of common friends, been in relationship for 1.5 years, considered marriage, and that's when faith came into the picture...... i understand what you mean by saying that the thought of her leaving is killing... i have been through it. When i discussed abt this faith issue with my guy, he kept saying that he was very open abt it and that he was willing to come along with me to church. But though he said it, i knew from his bahviour that he detested it so much. So i can say for sur that he wasn't very open abt my faith. But your girl might be different. Did you guys dicuss the issue among yourselves? What did she say?

Altenweg · Oct 30, 2009, 08:40 PM

I understand that you're afraid to move forward if there is a possibility that religion will get in the way.

The only thing you can do is talk about this. Is one of you willing to convert? Is it acceptable to either of you that one is a Christian and the other a Muslim? What about your families, if one converts would the family be upset, possibly disown the person the converted?

Religion can be a very big barrier between people. I really don't understand why, after all, you both believe in God, right? So what's the big deal. This just reconfirms my own beliefs, but sadly that won't help you.

Talk to her. If you can't resolve this now then it may be time to admit that you cannot be together because there is no future.

Ithappenstoall · Nov 1, 2009, 05:01 AM

Yeah I see what you guys mean. So far even thought we are long distance there has been great connection. Regarding the matter at hand we have discussed it but we haven't come with a solution. i know that both families even though are very open are not willing to sacrifice faith, this is what I perceive anyway.
Should I just follow Tal's advice and work on the relationship for now and see what happens after ?

Ithappenstoall · Nov 2, 2009, 12:23 AM

Carla : yes we have dicussed it, but so far it has not lead to anything. We still to have a serious talk about this, but something like this is to be done face to face I believe an not over skype/phone. I dont know, maybe I am being to optimistic and not realistic enough ?

Ithappenstoall · Nov 3, 2009, 01:28 AM

I guess its come down to this... should i let time take its course or should this be clear now

ChildOfGod_1 · Nov 5, 2009, 06:11 AM

Definitely talk to your girl about this. How open is she to your religious view? And this discussion has to be face-face.

Do not let time take its course. Its a bad idea, becasue... when you do so, it might feel good for the moment, but when the issue resurfaces, you are going to undergo the same turmoil. So don't water it down, but talk to her once again on this matter.

For that, you don't have to list down questions and have an argument. Hold a tiny discussion on this, and try to read her views. Ar argumentative mode might only lead to conflict.

Pray a lot, gather confidence, and just ask her. It might not be the end of all - its just the beginning.

As Carla suggested, did you get any elders involved?
Its almost a week since you have posted this question. How do you feel now?



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