Hi ,

Iam a brahmin girl . I love a non brahmin guy who is a Nadar . He loves me more than what I do . He is just crazy on me . H eis even ready to wear the white thread on his body for the marriage and do anything for me . My parenst are really against inter caste marriage . I love brahmin community , but I can't leave my lover he is damn good and Iam sure its very difficult to get a person like him on Earth .He is also Hindu so I don't think it's that big issue , but Ima not sure as I don't want my kids to get the BC , I want them to be as Brahmin and he has agreed to that but is this legally possible ? What should I do ? Will there be any problems in life in intercaste marriage ? Relatives , friends etc?? Please help.. Please please :-(

How long have you known each other, and how long have you been lovers. How old are you both?

We are major , 27 yrs old . 3 yrs..

As things are going good now, marriage will certainly be a lot different, given your cultures, and caste differences. Its about more than raising kids, or how they will raised and it gives me great pause that you are not as into him, as he is. I would say keep talking, and working on things that can come between you such as how he will treat you after marriage and how this will affect not only the support of his family, but yours also.

Read some of the other posts here about intercaste, and interfaith unions that have encountered many problems when they go against the wishes of their elders. They can make life, quite unbearable.

I certainly don't want to go against elders ,definitely I will marry only if my parents agree , and before persuading , I am confused whether cultural diff will cause any issues post marriage ? He is certainly a gem, he cares for me a lot , its not just care more than that , he is ready to get up to my std culture and he is broadminded as well . The thing what worries me is , I like him so much that I often miss him , but the fact is I am scared that what if after marrying some other guy , I still get his thoughts and added to it , I would certainly start comparing with my new partner if he doesn't react to a situation like what this guy reacts which I admire.. I am confused... :-( life is getting miserable with these problems :-(

Any marriage is all about dealing with issues, no matter what they are. Its how you deal with them that will define what type of life you will have in a marriage.

Maybe there is a issue with caste and class, and permission from elders, but this is something you both deal with together. Its always a risk, no matter where you are from when you marry any one.

Iam sorry , I really din't get , do you mean to say its difficult for a brahmin girl to lead a life in any other community ?

No that's not what I mean. You have to make choices and live with those choices.

I doubt any one here would even ask what caste, or class your from where I live. Now what they do in your part of the world may be entirely different. Those are the things you have to consider before you make a decision. How that decision will impact your life.

To be with him, from what you have written, may cost you the support of family, and friends who will not agree with your decision to marry this fellow, and that's something to consider. For you both.

Thanks for your time , Iam actually very confused , as you said, may be its up to me to decide on things will give a thought and get back to you if need any help!

Thank you so much for your thoughts!

Giving things a lot of thought before making life changing decisions is a very smart choice on your part as there is no hurry jumping into the unknown. Get facts to balance your feelings.

Ur parents r8. Ask his boys if your sister marry with other cast then you agree. If he says yes then tell him yr sister love below cast boys only for testing then see the face. If you marry this boys then your family completely finish... No body see your family , sister says boys is ki bahan bhag gai etc..
Aapki family ka jina muskil ho jayega dear...

Finally wo aapse kitna bhi payaar krta hai but aapki family se jayada nhi krta hoga...

Take care