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misulin9 · Aug 19, 2009, 01:36 PM

After a romantic movie-dinner my boyfriend and I, decided to get married in trip to Jamaica which is going to be next month. We have been together for a month and a half and also we are not planning to leve together because of our financial situation. Soon I will have to stop working because I will start the Medical school next year and I will not be able to support myself so I have to leve with my parents. My boyfriend has a lot of debts so he want be abel to support me either.
Now that the time of the trip is getting closer, I am stating to freak out. I don't know how to tell him that I am not ready for the commitment (just in the financial part). I guess I let my imagination let go without thinking the consequences. What can I do? I will appreciate some opinions. Thank you.

Justwantfair · Aug 19, 2009, 01:38 PM

Marriage is a HUGE responsibility, financially, emotionally, physically, if you are not ready just be honest with him.
Its not very rational to think that you are ready to marry someone after a month and a half of dating.
You are talking about a lifetime, what is the rush?

justcurious55 · Aug 19, 2009, 01:56 PM

Communication is up there on the list of most important things in a relationship. If you can't talk to him about your concerns now, what happens in the future? You need to be honest with him. And I recommend postponing the wedding. Like, until you've finished school and you are both financially stable. At least then hopefully you won't start your marriage worrying and possibly fighting over money.

misulin9 · Aug 20, 2009, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by justcurious55

communication is up there on the list of most important things in a relationship. if you can't talk to him about your concerns now, what happens in the future? you need to be honest with him. and i recommend postponing the wedding. like, until you've finished school and you are both financially stable. at least then hopefully you won't start off your marriage worrying and possibly fighting over money.

Communication is the key, your right, thanks. Great advice.

misulin9 · Aug 20, 2009, 12:38 PM

Is true what's the rush. Thanks.

Ren6 · Aug 20, 2009, 05:27 PM

At a month and a half, you two are nowhere near ready to be married. Please reconsider this move. If you truly love each other, you can wait until a more appropriate time to marry... when you are both financially sound and out of school.

I wish · Aug 20, 2009, 05:59 PM

If you are not financially stable, it's not a good idea to commit to a marriage.

There is no rush at all. If you really cared about each other, you would wait for each other to be more stable in all aspects.

Take this time to work on yourselves first before taking the next step. Then you will come out stronger.

Gemini54 · Aug 20, 2009, 09:42 PM

Just cancel the trip and tell him you're not ready.

You can't know him very well or know much about him after only a month and a half, so I wouldn't be making any commitments at this stage even for a holiday together. If there are problems with finances, how can you afford the trip?

Let him know how you feel and tell him you'd like to wait. I'd be taking things very very slowly.

misulin9 · Aug 21, 2009, 06:02 AM

My boyfriend is the one paying for the trip, but your right. Is a very little time to get to know him and to make a commitment of this magnitude I am going to talk to him as soon as possible, and I will tell him how I feel and what I think about not getting married. Thank you for the advice.