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i just turned 20 my girlfriend just turned 16 i really need to know how we can get married as her parents have already stated they do not approve of us being togeather and would not approve a wedding. we are deeply in love and i dont see this fair that if your both over 18 one can be 19 one can be 79 and no one can do anything about it but our 3 1/2 years appart right now is causing a problem!! i need to find some kind of a loophole that will allow us to get married in our state of Wyoming without having to drive to MS (the only state this can be done parent free at 16) i really need some help i love her with all my heart and we really want this to go through but so far the parents are winning. please help.
LOL, honey, if you LOVE this girl and want her to be happy (and you SHOULD if you love her), then you WILL take the time to win over her family...however long that takes.
When you marry, you assume it is for life. A LIFE commitment should expect to include a lot of time with her family. She needs them. They are her world and her past.
Take a good long look at the girl you love and long for. Do you love her so much that you require her to thrash her family's heart and their relationship together? That doesn't really SOUND loving?
Why don't you find some ways to heal the bonds that are already breaking. Do it so the family knows what you're doing. They won't like you any better right now, but no one can ignore noble deeds.
Go to the father and indicate you feelings for his daughter, and swear on a stack of Bibles you will do nothing about your feelings until such time as you get his approval... that you know how much she means to him, and you plan on taking the time necessary for him to realize that you will care for and protect her in the way a father would want from his son-in-law.
No sneaking behind their back, no going against dad's wishes...this is the hard path to a permanent life with this girl.
I really do not think that going and getting married would be the best thing. As JBeaucaire mentioned, you need to try to get her parents to like you. I have been through it. When my husband and I were dating his mother HATED me, for many reasons, I was not from a wealthy family like theirs, I was not catholic etc...but I worked very hard and I showed her that I am a good person, even though her and I have different outlooks on life. We are now happily married with a 3 month old son. His mother and I still have our differences but we put them aside, and get along as best we can.
All the previous posters have brought out excellent points on the validity of love at 16/20, so I’ll take another tact.
You have already stated that you realize that you are asking the woman that you love to go against her parent’s wishes and marry you. But, let’s play this out a wee bit further down the line.
Lets say that she gets pregnant in a year from now. She’s now 17, not done with high school, married to a man that her parents do not like, going to have a baby, and hormonal. Most mothers dream of sharing the pregnancy of their daughters… watching them develop and grow, going shopping for baby clothes, buying furniture, etc. You are not only asking your girlfriend to give up having her parents at her wedding – you’re also asking her to potentially give up one of the most precious times in her life… her pregnancy and her mother’s support. Let alone the fact that her parents could refuse to be a part of your children’s lives….
You need to think LONG and HARD about what you’re asking of this girl that you say you love. She is enamoured by the fact that a 20 year old man is interested in her enough to steal her away from the castle and sweep her off into the night… she’s not thinking of reality…
You’re asking her to give up her parents. She may be ok with that now, but believe me, down the line she WILL regret it. And guess who she will blame? You.
Do you want that heartache? Do you want to be responsible for that? Yes, you two are making this decision together, but she will (whether subconsciously or consciously) lay the blame at your feet.
Sweetie, you don’t need this right now. Wait. Respect her parents. It will ONLY help you in the long run. Let her finish high school. Get married when she graduates. Keep her parents blessing. She is still a minor. Respect their wishes.
If you love her, wait for her to grow up and become and adult.
Love doesn't mean anything without patience, respect, and devotion.
Patience = wait until its legal and you aren't basing a relationship on a "loophole"
Respect = respecting her rights as a child and her parents rights as her protectors
Devotion = love can grow with time. If you were meant to be together you will be when she's 18. In the mean time, you can stay devoted while being patient and respectful toward the people who are raising her.
Boy, I sure hope that you are not having sex! That could send you to jail for a very long time. If you two are truly in love then wait, it will do no harm and it will give you time to grow up. Remember this young woman is still a child in an adults body. Respect that at all costs. Her parents are simply trying to protect their daughter. If one of my girls had come home with a 20 year old, it is very likely that no one would have ever seen him again. Get my picture?
if you love her be patient and don't put her in what will turn into an awful place with her parents. and if you take her to another stake her parents can probably have you arrested for kidnapping
I will assume you see a theme here from people of all backgrounds,
If you are in love, then be in love, date, go to her prom, get her get into college. why not you either go into college or find a job that can earn a real good living, Save up some money, and prove that you are grow up in mind not just body.
Becoming a husband means alot of responsiblity, not just all love, although love is important, I will be blunt, you are in heat, love has not even started, not much anyway, it will grow over the years of learning about each other.
so if you are finding love, it will be as strong in 5 months as it is today, in fact it should be stronger.
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