We have been married almost two years and together for 3 years. My husband works for his father who by the way is a Toxic parent. I even have toxic in-laws. I also have a career; however at 5:00pm I leave work for the day and go home. I always call my husband on my way home and he tells me he is leaving also. Next thing I know its 6:00pm and he is not home and he doesn't call. We both only work 10 minutes from home. He has no regard for my feelings. I drop everything for him; he has cardiac problems and everytime that he has had to go to the emergency room or even have a stay in the hospital; I put my job on hold and stay with him day in and day out. I sit home everynight waiting for him. On Saturdays, he tells me he has to work but he is only going in for an hour or two (usually leaves at 8:30am) next thing you know its 1:00pm and he hasn't called or come home. When he does come home he has to take a nap because he is so stressed out from his toxic fathers verbal abuse. Now, we have wasted the whole day and haven't spent any time together They have never made me or my two children feel comfortable in their home. I have invited them to our house for dinner and have invited his daughters and nieces to parties that I have and they never show or call to say they can't make it. We lived in our house two years and his father has never been here and his mother has only been here once and that was to check on my husband because he wasn't feeling good; I was not here when she stopped by.

There have been a few times that I have needed to go to the emergency room myself and he will take me but he lies to his father about where he is so that his dad won't get mad. He won't defend me to his parents. They have never liked me or even tried to get a long with me and my husband tells me that I need to try harder.

My parents don't much like my husband either but I gave up my relationship with them becuase he is my husband and he is my life. I am not married to my parents.

How do I get my husband to make me a priority in his life and to be proud of me?

supermommy25

I think you guys really need to talk, and you need to express your feeling to him. He also needs to grow up and get out of his parents shadow and be his own person..he is no longer a child...or is he???? he did not marry his parents just like you didn't marry your parents he needs to stand up for you as his wife and his life partner...I think you should seek counseling and if that does not work then give him an ultimatum tell him if he does not change then the marriage will not work....how will it? if he does not take time out of his busy schedule to spend time with you his wife....and I don't understand why he would need to lie to his father about where he is or what he is doing...how old his he?

kp2171

not healthy on either side.

you gave up your parents because you arent married to them... wow. they only gave you a couple of dozen years of your life and you can discard them for not liking a man who treats you poorly?

you get the respect you demand and sometimes not even that. you cant make him make you a priority. you can, however, demand respect. the problem is that if the demand isnt met then you either need to take action or you need to admit you were bluffing.

so... the short answer is to stop being a slave to this man in the Name of a Marriage. a healthy relationship doesnt mean you dump those who support you and love you. you are irritated cause he doesnt change his ways when you bend over backward.

why should he? you keep bending to his whims. why change?

so... time to find a backbone and make yourself your priority. sounds like he only responds to fear and harsh treatment. im not saying be a jerk, but i dont think kid gloves and happy thoughts are going to change a thing.

time for you to demand to be treated better. and for you to be willing to act if he doesnt... otherwise you should just accept the treatment you are willing to suffer.

talaniman

You spend way to much time on what he does, and should work more on you, and what you do. If you don't know how to make yourself happy, no one else will either. Stop making your schedule around him, and expecting him to do the same. You guys are not working well together to solve your issues, so I can only assume their is no honest communications going on, and neither of you can read each others mind. Attract your partner back, by being healthy and happy on your own.