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We have been married for 8 years. My husband has always liked to drink and he is very sociable and has many friends. Over the last few years, he has been going out with friends and not coming home. He will not call me to let me know he has drank too much and will be staying somewhere to sleep it off. I have had countless sleepless nights worrying something has happened to him.
This morning he arrived home at 9am. When I asked him where he was, he was extremely mean and told me to leave the room. I told him I wouldn't as I am his wife and deserve an answer. He then told me where he slept, which wasn't where he told me he was going last night. When I asked why he ended up at a different place, he told me to "f"-off.
We do not have children. If we did, I wouldn't be here as that is no life for a child. I am angry and hurt to have been spoken to that way, especially after being up all night worried.
What should I do? He is losing all respect for me and I don't know why. I don't stay out all night ... I won't go behind the wheel after two glasses of wine.
You should follow him and see where he gose and then you can detict who hes hanging out with.
It sounds to me like hes cheating on you but i dont know that much so find out where he is and what hes doing and then decied what to do
first of all, he's agrown man responsible for his actions.like getting behind the wheel after drinking. he's the one who'll end up paying the consequences for his actions. secondly, staying up and worrying over him will not help the situation. he doesnt appreciate the caring woman you are. nor does the louse deserve it. He's angry because he's put on the spot and make to account for his behavior. by telling you to leav e the room he's ashamed of his actions and cant face you. his shame is redirected in anger toward you.
If he's drinking so much he has to sleep it off somewhere or has a personality change(as he seems to) he has a drinking problem.
If it were me in your situation I'd tell him when he's sober that he has a choice AA and me. that the drinking will not be tolerated.
You need to worry about yourself because he clearly isn't. If the drinking continues, I'd make arrangements to move out. trying to keep him out will only get ugly.
you need to cocern yourself with your own self respect not regaining his. you'll need to be strong and stand your ground. giving in on the first time he promises to stop drinking will weaken your stance for the next 10 times.
It's not that you need to get his respect back but that HE needs to regain YOUR trust and respect.
Good luck and God Bless
We do not have children. If we did, I wouldn't be here as that is no life for a child.
If this is no life for a child, then it is no life for you either.
This behaviour is unacceptable no matter if you have children or not.
Put it to him plain and simply, either he stops it and goes to counselling with you or you are out of the house and marriage!
He has no right to treat his wife like this and you shouldn’t stick around with him if he continues to treat you worse than the piece of dirt on the street.
what i think is that , thats not a life !!! you stay up worrieng about him and he doesnt care ! i think instade of staying up and worrieng follow him and find out what he does and after take your dicition. staying up and waiting for him and worriying wont work
Chippers - had to spread it...but great response!!!
Hi Jayto,
Your heart must be in your mouth everytime he is late coming home or doesn't show at all. He doesn't have respect for YOU ? Jayto, he should be concerend about You having repsect for him.
Your husband is in need of help. You can call an organization, such as AA and ask for advice as to how best to approach him and also if there is meetings that you can attend, such as ALANON ( I think that is how you spell it.)
Jayto, this behaviour of his will not stop, he has no reason to stop it, unless, he gets hurt out there, or God forbid hurts someone else out there. Then it will be too late for everyone.
If I were you, I would dig way down and get some strenght. Call and find out about AA and approach your husband with the numbers and times of meetings. You tell him that you will no longer tolerate living like this and he needs to either sober up or you are leaving.
Jayto, sometimes when they are so down in the well like he is, people have no clue or ambition to pull themselves out. A dose of reality is what is needed.
Do this for yourself. Please don't suffer through another night wondering where he is and if he is okay. I know that heartache and it is nothing short of hell.
I think you need to really kick is a@@ into gear ! This is no way to be treated and he seems to want to be a single guy running around getting drunk etc, I would lay the cards out on the table and tell him that he needs to seek help and stop hitting the bottle so much or you will ensure that he has his single life on his own.
I understand that its very hard because you love this guy even after all the things that he is doing and the way he is treating you !! You say that you are worried that he is losing repsect for you, by the way he has spoken to you and the things he does, I think you need to stop showing him so much respect until he pulls his act together.
If drinking is a problem for your husband, it is true that he needs help getting help. But I feel for you, it's not the easiest loving someone with an addiction. You spill out your love to them and they spill over for their love of drugs and alcohol.
Hope things get better for you and your situation. If not, you should think about your quality of life and do what is necessary for you. People say that as long as the addict is allowed to get away with their behavior it will just keep getting worse and that they have to hit rock bottom before they have a care in the world about other people again - I believe this to be true.
We have been married for 8 years. My husband has always liked to drink and he is very sociable and has many friends. Over the last few years, he has been going out with friends and not coming home. He will not call me to let me know he has drank too much and will be staying somewhere to sleep it off. I have had countless sleepless nights worrying something has happened to him.
This morning he arrived home at 9am. When I asked him where he was, he was extremely mean and told me to leave the room. I told him I wouldn't as I am his wife and deserve an answer. He then told me where he slept, which wasn't where he told me he was going last night. When I asked why he ended up at a different place, he told me to "f"-off.
We do not have children. If we did, I wouldn't be here as that is no life for a child. I am angry and hurt to have been spoken to that way, especially after being up all night worried.
What should I do? He is losing all respect for me and I don't know why. I don't stay out all night ... I won't go behind the wheel after two glasses of wine.
Opinions would be greatly appreciated.
You are carzy to stay with him - get out of there fast and make a new life for yourself - you are right he has no respect and it is not good enough for any human being to be spoken to like that
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