I love my husband very much. We have been married for 5 years and have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old daughter. Over the past 5 years I have caught my husband lying several times. Sometimes I would find out that he took a half day at work and didn't tell me (no biggy really), but the lies that really upset me are about money. There have been several incidents where he would hide money or spend money that was supposed to go toward daycare, bills, or gifts for our daughter. The latest one was a week ago. He was to receive a check for some overtime work which we both agreed would go to some bills. I had asked him several times when the check was going to come after the due date for the check came and went. He was always ready with an excuse and I became concerned that the check would never make it to our account. I happened on Friday to visit him at work with out daughter. While we were there his boss came around with checks. While looking for my husbands he said "oh yeah, you already picked yours up the other day." I looked at him with total amazement. I asked him what it was all about and he, hesitantly, told me he spent it. I asked what it was for and he said "some debts." I didn't have to ask further because I knew it was about pot. This has been an issue before so I couldn't bare to have that conversation again. I took my daughter and left. Since then I wrote hime a letter telling him how saddened I was that he spent OUR money on such a ridiculous thing. He know I don't approve of pot, especially when it affects our financial stability. But he still does it. I have done the yelling, talking, suppotive thing and nothing works. After this last incident in the letter I wrote to him I told him that I was taking off my wedding ring and that I would not put it back on until I knew that our marriage was as important to him as it is to me. Since then he has not spoken to me and he seems to avoid spending time with me and my daughter. I fear that I made a wrong choice, but I was all out of ideas. I don't want a divorce and we can't afford counseling. How can I get him to see the error in his ways without destroying our marriage? There is nothing I want more than to put that ring back on, but he hasn't given me any reason to do so as of yet. If I don't follow through I am afraid that he will think that I have forgiven him and he will do it again. Any input you can give would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Heart-broken