My husband and I have known each other for seven years, been together for about five, been married for a year and a half. He is 43 and I am 26. He has a 30 year old niece who I will call "Tara." A few years ago, when we were seeing each other but not exclusive, he told me that he was feeling terrible because he and Tara were drinking one night and they ended up having sex. They were really drunk, passed out next to each other, it was dark, and it just happened consentually. He said that in the morning, she acted like nothing weird had happened, and even joked that she hoped they wouldn't have a retarded baby.

I wasn't so much his girlfriend at the time, and my first response was "That's kinda hot" and I was trying to convince him he wasn't a terrible person. But now that we're inseparable and I love him so much, I cannot get over it. The first time I met her was a couple years after it had happened, and she was rude and jealous towards me (her favorite uncle was dating someone younger than her). He had told her I knew about what happened. We didn't get along well after that, until my husband and I got married.

No one in the family knows how they have had incestuous sex. I sometimes obsess over it. I think about him being on top of her when he is on top of me. I have to see her over the holidays now and act like I don't question how she could do such a thing. It's not like I can forget it either because she's family. She can't just go away, like an ex-girlfriend! I get mad at him at times and make terrible comments. He hates when I bring it up because he says he can't take back what he did. He also says "You didn't care when I told you!" It happened about five years ago and I still think about it. Yes, it is awful of me. I need to know how to get over it. I think it's affecting our sex life.